Monthly Archive for October, 2010

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Good News: Montana Grille Benefit for Humane Shelter, Bad News: Ditto

Published on October 26, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 1 Comment Tags: .


A Smallburg restaurant donated 100% of the proceeds of sales last night to the local humane shelter. Good on them.

Eating animals to save animals has always been one of my favorite past-times.

Now to proceed with the nit-picking and crotchety old fart rant from a guy who could find fault with just about any charity…

I hearby declare Paws for a Cause my Missed Opportunity of the Year:

  • Since we weren’t served kitten feet, Paws for a Cause is an awkward take-off on Paws With A Cause.  Note to organizers, it really should be called Pause for a Cause. Really. Or start serving kitten or puppy feet.
  • In years past, the restaurant would be slammed with Humane Society people lined up to eat animals to save animals.  A wait of 60-90 minutes was not unusual, except it was on Monday.  Waiting this length of time is commonplace on the weekend. We would mingle with like-minded animal eaters and chat. It was a party!  In order to get more sales, the restaurant set up a temporary drive through.  Since it was staffed by Humane Society volunteers I never had to see the inside (or even the front) of your restaurant or deal with your staff. Missed opportunity.

  • For $20 I bought a dinner of “rack of ribs”, beans, fire bread,  etc.  The picture is somewhat more substantial than the “rack of ribs” sold last night. As a matter of fact, these ribs served last night were riblets, the size of the fake ribs called McRib from McDonald’s. Missed opportunity.
  • Note to restaurant: OK, I get it, you’re giving up 100% of sales to benefit the humane society. Good on you.  And the place is jammed, so you add staff killing the bottom line even more. But don’t screw the customer.  It was your chance to give me a real treat by putting a real rack of ribs as advertised in that brown bag instead of pretend riblets. Missed opportunity.
  • Next year, why not just cut a huge check to the Humane Society and be done with it? It’s obvious you have lost focus on why it’s good business to give away your product to benefit a charity. (You want people to walk away feeling great about they money they just spent in hopes they will return regularly.) Missed opportunity.

Good luck next year. I’ll be looking for kitten or puppy feet to eat for Paws for a Cause.

From The “It’s About Damn Time” Department – Heinz Dip and Squeeze

Published on October 25, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 2 Comments Tags: .


Have you ever skipped adding mustard or ketchup or relish or mayo to a hot dog or burger because you didn’t want to struggle with the impenetrable tiny packets?

Have peanuts ever gone flying everywhere on a Southwest Airlines flight when the bag finally gave way to the with-all-your-might tugging?

Have you given yourself a bloody nose when you have the package in your teeth and your fist slipped upward?

I remember the days when I would watch a geezer struggle to open a packet of condiments and wonder how somebody could be so weak and stupid.

The packets have a little slit somewhere on the top – its simple matter to find that slit and pull it down to open I would say to myself.

But now I am convinced that since I am the Geezer in question, the packaging has gotten tougher.

The world changes.

H.J. Heinz Co. is unveiling the first major packaging change to the to-go ketchup packets in 40 years. The new design has a base that is like a cup for dipping and a tear-off end for squeezing.

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE…

H.J. Heinz ripped off a geezer’s design.

“They took my idea,”

said David Wawrzynski.

Wawrzynski owns of Wok to You, an online food delivery service for Chinese and Thai restaurants and decided to invent a better condiment package after he saw a customer put the germ-laden packet in their teeth to open it.

The result was the Little Dipper, which he designed to be easier to open and less messy than standard condiment packets, with the added benefit of letting users dip food into the packet. He pitched the idea to H.J. Heinz in 2008 but they poo-pooed the idea.

But then. BUT THEN…

Wawrzynski’s friends and relatives called to congratulate him after watching a host on ABC’s “Good Morning America” show Heinz’s new Dip & Squeeze condiment package, which Heinz touted as a “true packaging breakthrough.”

Oops! Somebody forgot to tell the inventor that his idea wasn’t so dumb after all, double oops, they forgot to cut him a check to get the rights to his idea.

I hope they served the lawsuit in a packet the lawyers had to rip open with their teeth.

Geeky Animated Gif Monday

Published on October 25, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 2 Comments

Mondays: round and round and suck you in and then throw you out…

Fall and Frost Freeze Factor. Try Not to Die

Published on October 22, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 3 Comments


I didn’t fall once in Barbados while under the influence of demon Rum. OK there was this one time on the beach where I did one of those “I’m halfway standing up, but I can’t get the rest of the way up” deals.  So I just St. Todd DeCubbville was just an arms length away, but did he offer a hand?
Nooooooo, he was too busy laughing.

But I could have busted my butt this morning on a tricky patch of frost that was lurking in the shadow. Get this: here’s a company that has compiled all the ways I need to be careful this winter.

Ok, forget the fact that it’s about the elderly – and how much I absolutely HATE that word. Remember because I am still overweight after losing 80 pounds, I am now calling myself “frail” because that get’s me special dispensation on the Body Mass Index Charts.

It’s an insurance company from the U.K. so forgive them their spelling, and they are paying me in pounds – which in this case is highly desirable.

In a nutshell to avoid winter injuries – with my addendums:

  • Keep Warm – Snuggies!
  • Don’t Fall – Don’t Move
  • Don’t Eat Poison – Dur?
  • Don’t Scald Yourself – Tepid Hot Water Bottle Please
  • Drive Carefully – And Get the Hell Out of My Way

I can’t wait for their “how not to die” tips for summer.

It’s Nice When the WWW Reaches Out to Help

Published on October 21, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 2 Comments Tags: , .


Apparently the word of the epic amounts of rum I intended to consume in Barbados had an impact on the entire innerwebs.

Mike reached out to me with his new product called drinkwel. He said it is the

first multivitamin specially formulated for healthy people who drink, designed to replenish lost nutrients, support healthy liver function, and help prevent hangovers.

Filing this under the “can’t hurt to try” I tossed the capsules in the suitcase along with other essentials such as:

  • Pepto-Bismol
  • Dulcolax
  • Cootie repellent
  • Lip herpes preventative
  • Left over Total Knee ( ta – da – dummmmmm) replacement Oxycontin

If you value a healthy liver function (and who among us doesn’t?) And you like to drink alcohol, drinkwel is the multivitamin for you  us.

Get this!

Each bottle of drinkwel includes one month’s supply: 90 vegetarian capsules.

Support mechanisms include:

1. Milk Thistle, Artichoke Leaf and other botanicals to support liver health.
2. Amino acids to help process alcohol induced toxins.
3. Superfruits that help neutralize free radicals.
4. Vitamin B-Complex to aid metabolism and maintain energy.
5. Vitamin C to support immune system function.

Since Nancy wouldn’t let me buy weed from the beach vendor, the closest I got was the Milk Thistle and Artichoke Leaf from drinkwel.

I can report that I did not have a hangover the entire week of rum-induced stupor I enjoyed. It was harder for me to find a cheap rum than to get a hangover.

There are only three rum distilleries on Barbados, but lots of rum is consumed. Everyplace we turned we had a rum punch. When Nancy was negotiating for her diamonds, the clerk said they would even throw in a bottle of rum for me.  As we headed out to swim with turtles, I wore out the blender having Sammie make me Pina Coladas.

Rum. Rum. Rummmmmmmm.

There HAD to be a cheap rum, but no taxi-driver or desk clerk would tell me. I had to find it on my own.

My service to rum drinkers for the day:

  • Alleyne Arthur’s White Rum is US$5 per 1.75 ml bottle – available only in Barbados.
  • And drinkwel.

You’re welcome.