Monthly Archive for December, 2010

Page 6 of 7

Post Office Clerk: “No Really, Your Court Order is Meaningless”


Life in Smallburg is nothing if not continually baffling. I am easily baffled. (Mr. Master-of-the-Obvious here.)

But I am most baffled Smallburg and Tinytown clerks. Our lives are controlled by clerks. Think you can just bip in and get a license renewed? Pshaw, you jest!

Need to check out your giant jug of Utz at Giganto Club? Chortle.

Take a few minutes to grab the winning Powerball ticket on your way home. Giggle.

Think you can pick up mail for a dead guy when you have a court order? Guffaw, guffaw, guffaw.

A friend of a friend is the court appointed executor for a dead guy’s estate. He knew there was mail awaiting at his Tinytown post office. When the guy croaked, they asked the postal officials to please stop delivering to his house.

But when the executor showed up to collect the mail, they refused to hand it over because… wait for it… he wasn’t part of the dead guy’s family.

Yep, the clerk refused to hand over the mail because she knew the dead guy’s family and Mr. Executor wasn’t a family member, just a very close friend. (Hello? Executor to his estate!) He showed the clerk the court document proclaiming he had the State of Kentucky’s authority to conduct all business both foreign and domestic.

But the clerk refused to hand over dead guy’s Land’s End catalogs, Bassmaster magazines, credit card applications, Cabala’s catalogs, AARP magazine, letters from:

  • Salvation Army
  • Waffle House
  • Netflix
  • DirecTV
  • Life Insurance R Us
  • etc. etc.

Clerks. These are the people that control our lives.

And Nancy says I need to smile more when I deal with them. Something like this work?

The Pope As Pirate – Avast Maties! License? We Don Needa No License


Pirate Pope Benedict

I went on a rant last week about dumping my PC and going Back to Mac.

Brian and Kirk weighed in with some thoughts and I’m following their advice.
I’m still on the Mac and may not go back, but it seems that the PC I had the most trouble with – the one I use all the time is healing.

First, they both agreed to dump McAfee Antivirus in favor of either Avast or AVG.

I first went looking for Avast, but the CNet download server was clogged. Seems that the whole world was looking to download Avast software…

Just how big a deal is software piracy? When security company Avast noticed that one of its paid-for licenses was being distributed illicitly online, they decided to track it. A year and a half later, the downloads approached one million.

The license was first purchased by a 14-user firm in Arizona, according to PC Pro. From there, it landed on enough file sharing sites to top out at 774,651 users, spread over 200 countries. According to Avast, two of the computers that installed the program were in Vatican City.

Since I didn’t care, as long as it was free, I downloaded AVG and it seems to be blessing my system will keeping away the demons.

Geeky Animated Gif Monday

The Car Chase That Started it All: Bullitt Chase Scene with Steve McQueen in 1080p HD


Bullitt was the movie that launched a thousand, maybe even a bazillion car chases.

The 1968 Mustang was hot. The 1968 Dodge Charger was hot.

On the streets of the cities in the U.S.  it was Mustang vs. Camaro vs. Charger. The movie grabbed the audience…

9 minute, 42 second testosterone overload through the precipitous streets of San Francisco — was still enough to ensure that “Bullitt” would become a classic.

Now it’s available on YouTube in glorious 1080pm HD!

Alzheimer’s test:

  1. within 3 vehicles, how many vehicles did Bullitt pass (going the same direction) during the chase scene?
  2. how many beer trucks were in the scene?
  3. what was the brand?

Bullitt was also the first car chase  done with live natural sound (some sound was added later as needed eg: tire squeal (and it’ obvious in the chase.) The Mustang rear end was blown as one of the stunt drivers was cranking through the gears to be added to the soundtrack.

McQueen thought he was good enough to do the stunt driving himself.

He wasn’t, Bud Elkins, the driver who did most of the driving said:

“He overshot a turn, smoked the tires and everything. It’s in the film. When Steve did that, it wasn’t on purpose. He goofed up, and they said, ‘that’s it, get him out of the car’.

The cars were basically stock, the suspension was hopped up on both, and McQueen wanted the mag wheels because he wanted his Mustang to look cool. In real life the Charger ran the wheels off the Mustang on the test tracks.

Get this, and imagine trying to film this scene today… there were only two cops on the scene! If you want to know about the chase with photos of the streets then and recently, this site has a good wrap-up.

Bonus points: how many cars were involved in the chase?

  1. I counted 17. The chase doesn’t begin until McQueen gets behind the bad guys.  (McQueen slid in the gravel past the Ford to avoid running over the motorcyclist – debatable if this was a “pass.”) Wouldn’t you think at those “speeds” in San Francisco they would have put more traffic in the way?
  2. One
  3. Schlitz

Bonus: Three (there was a camera car to grab the Bullit car chase classic of course!)

To a car nut, I would own any one of the vehicles shown in this chase scene: parked or driven. Even the street-car and the Schlitz Beer Truck.

Awesome!

For Sale: Lovely Collection of 33 Christmas Stockings


I am a man.

When I take off my socks, I stand on the toe of one sock and pull my foot out until just the toes are in the sock.
I then flip the sock with my foot in the general direction of the clothes hamper.

Repeat.

If I am feeling particularly skilled, I will attempt the “flip-it-in-the-air-and-catch-it” maneuver.

Same with my underwear.

When I start wearing a bra, I will shoot it like a slingshot at the clothes hamper.

For Sale: Lovely Collection of Christmas Stockings…

Thirty lovely stockings; Large and stretchy to hold lots of candy, useless gifts, gift cards, and lumps of coal.

Sixty dollars, free shipping. Inquire within.

Collection of 33 Christmas Stockings For Sale

I’m glad I don’t have to match my underwear with anything.

Boring Saturday much? Hell no! I ended up with 43 pairs of matched up socks. At one pair every week that’s almost a year of not having to do this again.

BTW: there are at least 66 white socks lurking in a drawer all by themselves. These are my favorite socks.