Toilet Paper Rollers Should Have Warning Label

I love a good warning label as much as the next guy. You know, on electrical outlets: do not lick after connecting electricity; or on the bottle of motor oil: for external use only; or on shoelaces: not to be used for rock climbing…

So where is the warning label on toilet paper dispensers?

Toilet Paper Roller

We tend to do this a lot at our house. We are just too damn busy or concentrating on the latest magazine or pushing really hard to bother to put the paper on the roller.

I’ve been on vacation. I am relaxed. I decided I would put the toilet paper on the roller.

I push the springy thingy out of one end of the holder, but leave the other end in the holder. This created a massive amount of coiled up tension.

And yes, the damn thing slipped out of my fingers and hit me on the cheekbone just below my eye.

Who decided that this dangerous household appliance should be at eye level when sitting down? Shouldn’t it be higher on the wall, like at least five feet so that when the spring loaded projectile is released it flies over my head?

WARNING:

Do Not Attempt to Hold Roll of Toilet Paper in One Hand and Push on One End of Roller With The Other.

Significant Bodily Damage May Result. If You Are Struck Senseless,

Someone Will Find You Slumped On The Toilet With a Poopy Butt.

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Comments

Toilet Paper Rollers Should Have Warning Label — 10 Comments

  1. I think there should be a warning against putting the toilet paper roll on top of the roller like that picture. I’ve had one too many rolls fall into the toilet due to my laziness. No one wants to wipe their butt with something already covered in poop.

  2. Odd, we’re a bunch of lazy asses around here as well. I’m still wading ankle deep in toilet paper rolls. Primarily because I go out of my way not to bend over at all these days.

    I’m glad to see we’re not alone. 😉

    • Jayne: interesting idea – Your Nightmare Death. May be a future post. I think I’m learning that the over/under debate for TP is moot. People don’t use the holders… except for Bulbous (below)

  3. that’s why you buy the holders that you just slip the TP on………no springs no fuss!!!