Monthly Archive for April, 2011

I Was Flatlined This Morning

Wow, I woke up to a flatline this morning.
Blog

Bluehost.com, the folks that host me sent, me a note explaining my flatline. While I slept, I was deactivated.

Your web hosting account for goinglikesixty.com has been deactivated, as of 04/30/2011. (reason: site causing performance problems)

Jeepers! First they deactivate me, then I’m flatlined. I have a DNR, but didn’t know it would be used while I was still breathing.

But Bluehost.com came through like a champ with their excellent customer service. I called, and the tech explained that GoingLikeSixty on WordPress was causing a large amount of database queries which slowed the performance of the server. This caused other blogs on the server also to be slowed.

My slowness caused by deactivation which caused by flatline. Can it get any worse?

Actually no, Bluehost.com tech support stayed with me on the phone while I logged into the FTP to browse a log file. When I said this kind of stuff was way past my pay grade, he offered that if I had a plug-in that queried the database for related posts, this could cause the problem.

AHA! I could deactivate those plug-ins, if he would plug me back in and get be un-deactivated. Done.
I turned off the related posts plug-ins:

  • Archivist
  • Link Within
  • nRelated Content

Bluehost.com suggested I let the traffic return to normal and then un-un-deactivate the plug-ins one at a time and check my log files. I made a log file the first thing after I got up this morning, but I flushed. I guess I’ll need to call Bluehost.com back to see if that’s where I should be looking.

Steampunk Fans! Head to Waltham, MA

As it says in my header, I’m a Steampunk fanboy.

I don’t own any steampunk designs, I’m not smart enough or talented enough to actually make a steampunk design, but I love the art form.

Waltham, Massachusetts becomes Steampunk City in May and I bet they have a ball.

For three days in May, the beautiful and historic downtown of Waltham, Massachusetts will throw open its doors to the Steampunks of the world! Enjoy special events all throughout the city, dine in restaurants offering specials to all adventurers, watch Steampunk films at the local cinema, see Steampunk theater, explore amusement everywhere, interact with all manner of performers and actors and dramatis personae, dances in a historic mansion, see art and Steampunk creation from around the world!

Steampunk Building

I think my love for mechanical things goes back to working in my dad’s flour mill.

The whole place was run on hydroelectric power from a river that  was diverted to flow under the building.  Electricity was generated, but only to run heavy electric motors in the “new” part of the building.  The flour milling machines ran on a system of flat belt pulleys, with the main  pulley powered from the turning of the water turbine below ground level.

Flour Milling Machine

The mill had a two lines of about six flour milling machines and they all were run off one central drive shaft that ran above the machines on the first floor. A flat belt came down to each machine and turned the massively heavy knurled steel drums that ground the wheat into Victor Flour.

This was before food inspectors were full-time employees, so it was possible to open a door while the machine was operating, reach in with a bare hand and let the flour pour through my fingers.

No steam, but lotsa pulleys and noise and moving parts and heavy metal. And dangerous as hell to work around.

My uncle (dad’s brother-in-law) Clayton worked at H. Van Patten Co. (H. was for Harlow, my grandfather who started the family business in Allen, Michigan.) In order to bring the milling machines into operation, Uncle Clayton (never once heard him called Clay) would take a long pole, reach up and slip the belt onto the main drive pulley – a huge pulley, perhaps 4 feet in diameter.

As you know, a big pulley rotating a smaller pulley means the smaller pulley goes a lot faster.  He did this many, many times a day for decades.

But it took just once.

It didn’t kill him. As a matter of fact, the accident didn’t even hurt him. But he ended up almost naked in the blink of an eye.

He reached up, slipped the belt on the pulley and in a flash his clothing caught in the belt, tossed him ten feet into the air, over the drive shaft and dumping him on the floor with only his wristwatch, briefs, shoes and socks still on his body.

He worked the rest of the day.

Steampunkers are tough.

Another reason I’m just a fanboy.

 

 

Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn and Baron Carrickfergus.

Nancy had a Royal Wedding Day viewing party so we were up at 3:15 to prepare for the guests arrival at 3:30.
Hats were mandatory, PJ’s OK.

There was wedding cake and mimosas and lots of commentary (they got very quiet during the video.) There was total agreement that she was a beautiful bride and they would make beautiful babies.

royal wedding
Duke of Cambridge, OK,
Earl of Stathearn, mmmmmmm, OK
Baron Carrickfergus? OMG, no.

The Queen gave Prince William a wedding present. Some new titles.

Baron Carrickfergus.

Can you regift a title?

We’re Broke. Stop Spending My Money On Disaster Relief.

Ever notice that people who never drink water are always at the front of the line for free water

The governor of Kentucky asked President Obama to give him some money to help rebuild a tiny section of Kentucky. As did the governor of Alabama, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Florida, et al.

Stop it.

Stop using my federal tax money as an earmark for a special project in another town or state that won’t benefit me. If the state of Kentucky wants to toss some money to Paducah to help with the floods then that’s a state’s proper duty.

But keep the Feds out of disaster relief. Stop asking the U.S. taxpayer to pay for natural disasters.

We’re broke!

Dollars to donuts, the same tea-partiers that want Feds out of their life are lining up at the public trough that is Federal disaster relief.

It’s not right.

We’re broke.

One of my first involvements with a tornado was back in the day. One struck a well-to-do stretch of homes on a lake. My dad didn’t know anybody that lived there, but he sent me with a dump-bed truck to carry debris away. There were dozens of backhoes and trucks and people volunteering for the clean-up. No Feds.

Tornadoes have struck three different homes that I owned at various times. Each time, volunteers – some I didn’t know – showed up with chain saws and trucks and had the debris cleared away within hours.

Insurance covered my structural damages. If people can’t afford insurance, there are agencies in place to help them recover and survive.

OK, so roads and bridges and levees aren’t covered by insurance, but the governors want the Feds to spend money they don’t have on simple clean-up. It doesn’t have to be done today, govs. If it takes a month, it takes a month. If people want it done quicker, let them do it themselves.

Just stop spending my federal tax dollars on natural disaster relief.

 

Elmer Lynn Hauldren, The Empire Carpet Man, Dies

A person who met Elmer Lynn Hauldren says he smelled like cigars and whiskey. The way carpet guys of the 70s are supposed to smell…

Elmer Lynn Hauldren didn’t sing the jingle that WGN embedded in young impressionable minds.

588-2300 Empire…

I still sing this jingle at random inappropriate moments.

Elmer Lynn Hauldren, the “Empire Man” or the “Empire Carpet Guy,” died at age 89.

A Chicagoland legend, and nationally known pitchman, was a copywriter who change careers and dominated late-night commercials.

Elmer Lynn Hauldren wrote the jingle that is my decades long earworm.

I hope they are offering free padding and installation at the services.

UPDATE: There is a tribute website for Elmer Lynn Hauldren here: www.empirecarpetman.com