Monthly Archive for April, 2011

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Allen, Michigan Invited Me To Play In The Snow

Published on April 26, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 2 Comments Tags: .

I was born in Michigan.

And like The President, I need to prove that I was born in Michigan and not Kenya.

I sent a request to the Michigan Department of Vital Records (I’m sure they have plenty of Non-Vital Records too.) But because they neglected to ask on the form, I didn’t send any official identification to prove that I was in fact who I think I might be.

The Michigan Department of Vital Records sent me a nice letter asking if I please could fax (!) a photocopy of something official… which I did.

I called today to see that I was in the system, and while I was on hold, the dulcet tones of Tim Allen invited me to play in the snow of Pure Michigan.

Tim Allen was born in Michigan.

The Department of Vital Records  ”music on hold” was this commercial…

Pure Michigan
I was born in Allen, Michigan. I like Tim Allen. I like the Sarah Dippity of this post.

There is plenty of snow in Michigan. Some people are still posting photos of the ice and snow beauty of Ultra Northern Michigan.

 

Me? I wouldn’t go near the snow.

Unless Tim Allen paid me.

God Save Me From Name Droppers

Published on April 25, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: , .

There is a person who lives in Smallburg who has a well-deserved national reputation. He’s a nice guy. I’ve met him on a couple of occasions and chatted him up. At my house, we refer to him as My Good Friend Gary.  He’s just one of those genuinely nice people who is very good at chatting up the Pope as he is me.

He is everybody’s Good Friend Gary.

God save me from name droppers.

Cartoon

My Good Friend Gary has a large prestigious office. He has a staff of thousands at his beck and call. But apparently he has only one secretary.

She came up to me today and introduced herself as, Blah-Blah (not her real name), President Gary’s secretary. OK, he is a president, but he’s not THE President. And she did call herself “secretary” not “assistant.”  I think she has a Hillary complex.

She looked me dead in the sternum (she is short, I am tall) and said:

Which one are you?

I laughed. No seriously, I laughed. And repeated the question back to her…

Which one am I?

Oh, if I was only quick-witted, I would have had such a great comeback for her. Alas and Aflac, I am slow. She thought she insulted me, as she said…

I’m sorry, there are so many people who come through his office, I can’t remember them all.

I’ve never been in My Good Friend Gary’s office.  I told My Good Friend Gary’s secretary that, and she said,

Oh, well you look just like him.

She then realized she:

  • didn’t know me,
  • had no reason to know me,
  • had no gain from knowing me.

Secretary Name Dropper turned on her heels, mentioned a colleague favorably, and walked off.

Gary’s Secretary come to me today.

Which one are you? she did say,

I gave her a clue: it was deja vu!

And apparently this was OK.

Geeky Animated Gif Monday

Published on April 25, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: .

One of my all-time favorite movies…

How Grilled Cheese Won The Hipsters

Published on April 23, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 1 Comment Tags: , .

Hipsters will compete to make the best grilled cheese sandwich in L.A. at the annual Grilled Cheese Invitational. The hipsters will dress up in costume, call cheese, cut the cheese, get free cheese and all things cheesy. Because they are hipsters, they will not listen to Government Cheese.

Because they are Hipsters, nobody there will be getting a cheese check.

Grilled cheese.

Two slices of generic white bread, Kraft American Processed Cheesefood, margarine. Right?

Not according the to the Hipsters.

Flippin’ Hipsters. On Quora.com here are the answers to “what is the best cheese for a grilled cheese?”

  • Gruyere has enough flavor to hold up to a sourdough, but it also tastes great with white breads.
  • Personally, I just blend together whatever cheeses I have at the moment (and I’m kind of a cheese fanatic so there are usually at least 5 on any given sandwich) that I think will go well together.
  • Pepper jack! I used to eat tons of grilled cheese with pepper jack in pita bread.
  • My favorite is Sharp Provolone and Caramelized Onions grilled on Italian/French Bread.
  • I can’t believe this hasn’t been mentioned but Taleggio makes for an unreal grilled cheese.

Flippin’ Hipsters.

 

Grilled cheese sandwiches are so flippin’ hip, that Groupon got blowed away at the Hipster convention aka SxSW. Their secret? Grilled cheese sandwiches and beer.

OK, free. Even Hipsters like free.

At this year’s overcrowded and overhyped SXSW conference in Austin, one of the few startups to break through the noise was group text messaging app GroupMe. How did GroupMe win SXSW? Grilled cheese. The company rented an outdoor food shack for something like $10,000 and turned it into the GroupMe Grill with free grilled cheese sandwiches and beer. The grilled cheese, says co-founder Steve Martocci in this episode of Founder Stories, was “an homage” to Phish concerts, where grilled cheese sandwiches are consumed in large quantities…

I once was asked by a Hipster to send a picture of me sitting at my computer. I think it was a research project. It was Saturday, I had a grilled cheese in the picture. I also had in the picture

  • four gold watches,
  • a bowling pin,
  • my father’s christening dress,
  • a dog,
  • three desktop computers (only one worked)
  • drumsticks
  • Miller Chill in a mug.
  • other fascinating etc.

What did the Hipster notice? Ayup – the grilled cheese. The sustenance of power-bloggers, I was told.

I’ve given up the Miller Chill, but when the Hipsters start drinking 1/2 Diet Green Tea, 1/2 Diet Coke,  1/8 liquor – brown, white or gold, I’m calling  it a day. I will be so flippin’ Hip it will make you sick.

Grilled cheese.

Two slices of generic white bread, Kraft American Processed Cheesefood, margarine. Right?

Right.

 

 

Talk Like Shakespeare Day is Tomorrow and I Won’t Be Participating

Published on April 22, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: .

April 23 is Talk Like Shakespeare Day. I won’t be participating because I have never read Shakespeare and don’t really have a clue how to Talk Like Shakespeare.

I can talk like a Pirate with the best of them. Lots of RRRRs and growling and matey and avast. All my Shakespeare knowledge will fit on tee shirts. As a matter of fact, somebody has done it and Shirtspeare is the result.

The Talk Like Shakespeare folks say it’s as easy to talk like Shakespeare as it is to talk like a Pirate…

  • Instead of you, say thou or thee
  • Rhymed couplets are all the rage.
  • Men are Sirrah, ladies are Mistress, and your friends are all called Cousin.
  • Instead of cursing, try calling your tormenters jackanapes or canker-blossoms or poisonous bunch-back’d toads.
  • Don’t waste time saying “it,” just use the letter “t” (’tis, t’will, I’ll do’t).
  • Verse for lovers, prose for ruffians, songs for clowns.
  • When in doubt, add the letters “eth” to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).
  • To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with methinks, mayhaps, in sooth or wherefore.

Now in Smallburg, Kentucky everybody knows about Pirates. Many have been to Pirates of the Caribbean or have seen the movie. But since there is no Shakespeare of the Avon at Disney World, I fear for my life if I start addressing the local females as “mistresses.” And hell’s bells, everybody in Smallburg is a Cousin!

If I say “thee” or “thou” people will avoid me, lest I ask them to go to Sunday Meetin’s with me.

I do like the phrase poisonous bunch-back’d toads. But that’s hard to remember in the heat of anger because it’s not a phrase I grew up with or have heard in music or seen on Californication.

“eth” on the ends of words? People would think my veneers were looth. Forsooth, shall be uncouth  – my tooth ’tis looth.

Varily and warily, thee shall primarily be wearily and necessarily and voluntarily, militarily extraordinary.  Not a couplet. That’s not Shakespeare-talk either, just my brain running off with my blog.

Sesame Street and James Earl Jones – or whoever this golden-throated Star Trek guy is…is my speed for Talk Like Shakespeare Day.