I Have STD

But in twenty-three days it will be gone.

I have Short Timer’s Disease. STD.

23 days until I retire.

This thousand day countdown is now irrelevant. This is the time left until my 66th birthday: the gummit sanctioned day that I would be eligible for to collect my full allotment of Social Security moola.

But boy did things change.

When I started telling people at work that I would be retiring, Nicole-The-Receptionist, (not her real name) asked:

What happens if the guy that comes in after you doesn’t like me?

I cracked:

I don’t give a shit.

Which all agreed would be shortened to I.D.G.A.S. in future conversations about work-related issues.

I can’t wait to tell them I have an STD.

I’ve got it, but I’ll try not to spread it.

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Comments

I Have STD — 7 Comments

  1. Like I said to my brother the other day on Facebook, there are three stages to old age:

    1. too old for this shit
    2. too old to give a shit
    3. too old to take a shit

    My brother has reached Stage One. You are at Stage Two.

  2. Like I said to my brother the other day on Facebook, there are three stages to old age:

    1. too old for this shit
    2. too old to give a shit
    3. too old to take a shit

    My brother has reached Stage One. You are at Stage Two.