If you’re ever in the neighborhood (yes Kirk, you and the Missus are invited) look us up.
Monthly Archive for May, 2011
Page 4 of 9
Apparently moving to Costa Rica means I have to give up the bad habit I picked up when I turned Sixty. I have plenty of bad habits that I can still do in Costa Rica, but those all involve my body.
I need a new bad habit that is just a foolish pleasure.
There are no good cigar stores in Costa Rica.
There is a cigar maker in Costa Rica. A woman was rolling cigars just outside the gate in the San Jose aiport. She is not a Cigar Doll…
…but is right next to the woman giving away free booze. Nice. The free booze girl even gave me a double rum shot once when I walked by with my Sbarro coke. (I got a coke there because they didn’t have a line – not surprising, right? Is there anything worse than Sbarro pizza?)
But the cigars were ten bucks each. Discounting the airport markup, I figured a cigar probably runs $5 each. And that’s way to pricey for me to burn. Even if I only smoke one or two a week, that’s 10-20,000 colones! Just the thought of spending 10,000 on anything, gives me pause.
Nancy loves the 1820 brand of coffee that she has found only in Costa Rica. She has imported contraband bags and has her friends hooked. Since Costa Rica has some fine coffee – including our crop - I thought perhaps this could be my new bad habit.
I don’t drink coffee now. Never have.
When I read this today, it just seemed that it was meant to be…
The study, recently published in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute, found that the men who drank six or more cups of coffee each day were 20% less likely to develop any form of prostate cancer. Even among men who drank one to three cups a day, lethal prostate cancer risk was reduced by 30%.
OK, that’s cool. Coffee kills Cancer. We grow coffee. We grow cancer-killer. Cool.
Not so fast Chemo-Savvy.
Reading further, the docs say
The Prostate Cancer Charity urged caution about the findings, and said that men shouldn’t as a result of it alter their current routines if they weren’t already coffee drinkers: “Although this study is a welcome addition to our knowledge, it is far from definitive and we would not recommend men who are not already habitual coffee drinkers to become so in the hope of preventing prostate cancer … Heavy caffeine intake is associated with other health problems and men with benign prostate problems might well make urinary symptoms worse.
So drinking a dozen cups of coffee sitting by the pool while watching toucans doesn’t seem like a new bad habit I will take up.
Any ideas for a new bad habit? It must involve spending of money foolishly, and be enjoyable. Not being approved by the woman of the house is a bonus.
- Prostitution is legal in Costa Rica, and even though it meets the non-approval criteria, that’s pushing it.
- Gambling is legal, but I could hardly make that a regular habit because it involves putting on pants to visit a casino.
- Drinking makes me stupid and the hangovers are murder.
Maybe I’ll just go back to being boring, predictable me with the same old bad habits.
Or maybe I’ll take up gunnery. Shooting toucans would be a hoot.
Leave it to a couple of Methodists to really screw up St. Joseph “The Underground Real Estate Agent.” But even by screwing up St. Joe, miracles happen.
Nancy’s friend Sally introduced us to St. Joe. She loaned us a proven St. Joe when we told her we were listing our house with a real estate agent of the earthly variety.
The house had been on the market for about 45 days as a For Sale By Owner. I bought the domain name, found a real estate website that would syndicate the listing to Trulia.com and Zillow.com, etc. Put on a “make-me-move” price and let ‘er rip.
We were getting about 30 page views a week, which in Smallburg is very good. We even had some inquiries and showed it once.
It wasn’t until we bought Sedolsoder that we decided we needed to pull out all the stops and hire a real estate agent – which meant a sign in the yard, and St. Joseph in the ground.
The solemn tradition of burying St. Joseph in the earth began hundreds of years ago in Europe. During those times, an order of nuns prayed to St. Joseph (the patron saint of the family and household needs) when they needed more lands for convents. The Sisters were encouraged to bury their St. Joseph medals in the ground.The medals evolved into statues, culminaing with the complete “Underground Real Estate Agent” Kit currently available. Today, thousands of homesellers and real estate agents nationwide continue this successful tradition; they are looking for a little divine intervention.
What would a couple of Methodists know of Saints? St. Joe was new to us. Sally handed him over with the instructions that we should bury him facing our house.
Sally was holding out… and God will punish her for that…
Here are the real instructions for St. Joseph The Underground Real Estate Agent:
- Dig a hole by the For Sale sign 2-3″ deeper than St. Joe.
- Put St. Joe in the hole head-first, feet toward the heavens, facing the street.
- Say a little prayer “Good Lord, lets sell this house” will probably work.
- Cover him up.
Our house sold within three days of burying St. Joesph. Those Catholics got it going on. Nancy promised Sally that she would consider converting once we get to Costa Rica – she will be as good a Catholic as she is a Methodist.
And if that doesn’t work, I’ll put her upside down in a hole.
Guest post by Ann Greewoman,
author of Angry Birds: How You Can Kill Pigs in Your Company
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Angry Birds: How You Can Efficiently Kill Pigs in Your Company is a week long immersion into the management styles and processes by which today’s leaders attain maximum performance from teams. Successful organizations looking for modern approaches to increase their ROI and boost the productivity of teams will find Angry Birds: How You Can Efficiently Kill Pigs in Your Company a proven coaching technique which will provide a pathway to excellence for the entire organization. If you wish to have every level of your organization reaching maximum potential while progressing to higher levels of increasingly complex problems, contact Angry Pigs School Of Management.
—–
Peter Drucker would love Angry Birds:
- Angry Birds focuses on the simple. Simple music. Simple graphics. Simple game.
- There is no FAQ for Angry Birds. There are many videos and cheats, but Drucker would maintain these are simply offshoots of the development of the game and not an integral part of learning.
- The Angry Birds are ruthless in attacking the corporate pigs who have layered themselves from attack through many levels of protection. The game designers obviously believe and respect the worker attitude.
- Angry Birds is new. It is not another reincarnation of a plumber rescuing a princess or a warrior killing stuff.
- To score well and often in Angry Birds, the player must have a plan of action, to think about the attack. To do otherwise is to fail.
- It takes a village to kill the Corporate pig. Angry Birds always has back-up. Even if one Angry Bird succeeds, there is a village behind it at the ready.
- Angry Birds requires a balancing between a high score and the desire to achieve a longer range goal. The MBO is to score well enough to progress through the game.
- Angry Birds exists because there was a need. The game is free. Profit was not the primary goal.
- There is a notion that Angry Birds is one of humankind’s noblest inventions.
Tom Peters would love Angry Birds:
- To start you just play
- People love simple games
- Every player is a champion, there is no competitive or heads-up Angry Birds (yet)
- The Angry Birds get things done in a variety of ways – each of it’s own quality
- Angry Birds requires a hands-on approach
- Success requires hammering away at obstacles in basically the same manner
- There is no headquarters staff in Angry Birds. It’s the worker-birds against the pigs
- Success comes from a variety of styles of attack. Attack, but the angle of approach is up to you.
If you haven’t fired up Angry Birds for your iPhone, or you don’t (gasp) have an iPhone, the game is now available for the Chrome Browser. Yeah, I have spent hours playing, just like I spent hours playing Pacman on the Atari and got Pacman thumb and wrist and played Super Mario World for hours on the Ninendo. Double the thumb injuries on Super Mario World. At least the Angry Birds just require a one-finger click.
Angry Birds has the same lame-ass addictiveness that marked the others. Stupid “characters” and stupid “music” with a “stupid” goal. (I guess there is a goal for Angry Birds? Or no? Meh.)
Here’s what I have learned about Angry Birds in my first hours of play:
- The little purple birds will split into three if you click when they are in flight.
- The triangle birds will fly straight and fast if you click when they are flying.
- The egg birds are useful after they drop their egg bomb if you time it just right.
- The big black ball birds explode when you click OR will explode after they turn red.
Yes, cupcakes and plushies and tee shirts and all kinds of crap will be flooding the store shelves soon.
There’s a bunch of other stuff in Angry Birds that I haven’t gotten to yet: diamonds, eggs, treasure chests, and what the hell is this floating Chrome logo supposed to signify? I blew it up once and didn’t get squat. Is this some kind of signal that I need to get. away. from. the. computer?
If you want to unlock all levels of the game. Click here for the code to add to the browser after you have launched the game.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you about the addictiveness – and one question: Do you try for the best score at each screen or are you more challenged by racking up many different levels.
Here’s the life size version – complete with Exploding Pigs. Can a Disney World theme park be far behind?
Oh, and yes, I bought a Wii because of the Tiger Woods Masters 2012 game and the New. Low. Price. It’s my retirement gift to myself.
