Monthly Archive for June, 2011

Page 5 of 7

The Best Internet Ad Ever – And Am I Pissed!

Published on June 9, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Ok, so I’m one of the few remaining who still use RSS to read stuff online, I’ll give you that. But why does the best internet ad ever really piss me off?

Because it won’t go away!  This web ad isn’t one of those floating ads that intrudes on a web page until you click it to go away.

This is an ad unit that appears in my RSS feed stream and for some reason, sticks.  Scrolling up or down and it’s hanging there over the RSS feed. In Google reader on Chrome 10.x. Even using the “j” shortcut in Google Reader keeps the ad in place.

The best internet ad ever – and boy am I pissed. If they ever figure out how to do this on purpose, be ready… at least for the few RSS readers left in the world, it’s the best ad placement ever – if you are an advertiser. The really cool feature? If it’s a video ad, clicking starts the video right in the ad unit.

This particular ad is a click through.

Look for it in your favorite RSS stream.

PS: it will disappear from the RSS feed if the stream is refreshed. But it will return.

Senate and House Leadership Porn0 Names

Published on June 9, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 3 Comments Tags: .

Why should Representative Weiner have all the fun? My new good friend Ed, from Ed’s Funny Pages, suggested that the House and Senate should all just adopt porn0 names since they have lost all sense of respectability.

He had this brilliant idea…

Dude practically has a porn0 name.

“Anthony Weiner, playing the part of Pizza Delivery guy ‘Tony Weiner’.”

Hell, the whole House of Representatives sounds like the cast of a porno.

Brilliant! I’m applying for porno names for the entire 112th Congress with Ed’s invaluable assistance.
Herewith is the cast of characters for the new hit porn0 “Whips and Weiners” starring the leadership of the U.S. House of Representatives and U.S. Senate.
This is a project of Two Heads are Better Than One.

Note: In order to keep this post just R rated, the obvious porn0 names (rhymes with Blunt) have been omitted from the list.
U.S. House of Representatives
  • Speaker of the House John Boehner
aka John Boner
  • Majority Leader Eric Canter
aka Ilick Panter
  • Majority Whip Kevin McCarthy

aka Sanchez McDirty

  • NRCC Chairman Pete Sessions (R-TX)

aka Peter Session

Republican Conference Chairman Jeb Hensarling (R-TX)
  • Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi
aka Fancy Peloosie
  • Minority Whip Steny Hoyer
aka Manny A. Voyeur
  • Assistant Minority Leader Jim Clyburn

aka Jimmy Floorburn

  • Democratic Caucus Chairman John Larson

Fun Buns Larson

  • Democratic Caucus Vice Chairman Xavier Becerra

aka Wear and Tear Mascara

U.S. Senate
  • Majority Leader Mitch McConnell
aka Bitchy McCornhole
  • Majority Whip Jon Kyl

aka Rankin Defile

  • Republican Conference Chairman Lamar Alexander

aka Lamar Blackwood (gotta admit, I don’t get this one Ed.)

  • Republican Conference Vice Chairman John Barrasso

Updike M’Asso

  • Republican Policy Committee Chairman John Thune
aka Blue Moon Thune
  • NRSC Chairman John Cornyn (R-TX)
aka Cornin The Barbarian
  • Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV)

Harry Bleed

  • Minority Whip Dick Durbin (D-IL)

aka Big Dick Derby (or Big Dick Throbin)

  • Democratic Caucus Vice Chairman Chuck Schumer

aka Suck D’Bloomers

  • Democratic Conference Secretary Patty Murray

aka Pat McFurry

  • Democratic Policy Committee Vice Chairman Debbie Stabenow

aka Debbie Suckmenow

 

Chime in with your suggestion for your Senator or Representative or Governor or Dog Catcher. Porn0 names R Us.

Ten Things NOT to Do With a Boomer Dad on Father’s Day

Published on June 8, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 1 Comment Tags: .

Father’s Day is just around the corner. I got my order in early for my Father’s Day gift idea, but was told that it was out-of-stock. Bulbous spends all day online, but when it comes to shopping, she is challenged. She doesn’t realize that the deal yesterday is gone today.

But if you are the kid of a boomer dad, and you think buying a gift for him is impossible and are thinking that spending time with his spawn would be a nice gift. Think again.

Especially if you were thinking of…

Ice skating – The only ice in June should be connected to the Stanley Cup or an adult beverage, usually both.

Dive bar – he’s been there, done that – and you might be embarrassed when everybody knows his name.

Flea Market – you will regret when he goes into his  ”I remember when…” mode and then tries to dicker with the vendor by saying, “it only cost $2 brand new!”)

Home Tour – are you really asking for an afternoon of constant sighing and shifting from foot to foot?

Climbing Wall - puh-leeze. 1. Your dad is a total sofa spud or 2. Your dad is a total sports stud. No climbing wall is suitable for either.

Farmer’s Market – He will see all his buddies and they will stand around regaling each other with fantastically detailed weather reports/predictions/complaints.

Gunnery Range – Remember, dad maybe on ‘Roids for some disorder you are unaware of. A trip to the gunnery range could trigger him.

Winery – See Home Tour

Musical Theater – Unless it’s Stomp or Blue Man Group. Nothing else. Period.

Bowling – See Farmer’s Market

Open Mic Night – your dad WILL perform. Count on it. And the biggest laughs will be when he talks about YOU growing up.

If you’re looking for things to do with your boomer dad on Father’s Day, give me a shout. I’ll need his age, weight, height, and sexual orientation. Same for you.

I’m here to serve.

 

 

Costa Rica Jugs of Mangoritas Baby!

Published on June 7, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 2 Comments Tags: .

Just got the confirmation that our shipping container will arrive June 28, at 7 a.m. I’ll have three hours to load our crap and Smart Car before it all gets trucked to a train to Miami to catch a ship to Costa Rica to a truck to Sedolsoder.

I’ll be heading out as soon as I can close the deal on our house and get all our utilities shut off.

I loaded box/bin number 250 this morning. I’m guessing that we’ll hit the 300 mark when it’s all said and done.

Nancy will be in Costa Rica before me and will have the Jugs of Mangoritas waiting my arrival.

Woooo hoooooo OMG!

Thousand Day Countown Reaches 900 days

Published on June 7, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: .