Bufo the Vampire Slayer, Or Vampire the Bufo Slayer, Something Like That.

“Bufo, bufo man… I’m married to a bufo man…”

These were the words (think Macho, macho man…) that I was serenaded with as I returned from another night of bufo killing.

This is the third toad that visited us – or the second one returning because I didn’t kill it last night.

Yes, if it looks like I am crapping my pants, it's because I am.

I did not sign up to be Bufo the Toad Slayer.

Nancy saw the bufo in the yard whilst walking Sofi.

“BUFO!” she yelled to me from the other side of the house. I was in the rancho grilling chicken, just about ready to eat… and I had to go kill another big, ugly, deadly-to-dogs, toad.

I didn’t sign up to be Toadie in the Fields. (Yes, I thought her name was Toadie…

Last night I tussled with a bufo on the rancho. Because I had a bad angle and my walking stick has a nice round bottom I couldn’t stab it. Tucked between the wall and the bag of yummy dog food, I couldn’t get a clear swing.

Instead I just irritated it and it hopped merrily away into the night.

Tonight would be different.

I would prepare an Instrument of Sure Toad Death.

(Imagination time since I couldn’t get the photo to upload… A looped piece of wire with the pointy ends down tied to a big ole tree limb with some remnant string the previous homeowner left.)

Into the yard I strode,
to kill me a bufo toad.
I could not stick it
with my homemade wicket
so I clubbed it medieval mode.

Just jabbing doesn’t work on these tough skinned beasts. I need big ole honking nail on the end of a iron pipe.

No mercy.

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Bufo the Vampire Slayer, Or Vampire the Bufo Slayer, Something Like That. — 4 Comments

  1. This move to Costa Rica has been great – so much fodder for your posts. Retirement must be agreeing with you because the posts just keep getting funnier. Loved the limerick!

    • Yeah, life is a real picnic! Nancy has spent two days trying to get rehydrated after a bout with stomach virus. I am SO ready for some boring routine!

  2. Call me naive or thick, if you prefer, but why do you have to kill these toads at all. Assuming ( always a dangerous thing to do ) that they are plentiful, and indigenous, is it your intention to be on permanent toad patrol for the rest of your life? That could get old very fast. Isn’t there a good chance that the dog is going to have a face off with Mr. Toad sometime when you’re not there with your pointy stick ?

    • Not if I can help it. The toads are deadly to dogs. I know the toads were here first. And yes it is old already. But I love my dogs and will protect them from a horrible death by toad poison.