Monthly Archive for July, 2011

Page 3 of 5

Not a Boffo Day for Bufo Toads in Costa Rica

Published on July 13, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 12 Comments Tags: , .


There are killer toads loose in Costa Rica. Unlike Pat and John, we had been alerted to the nasty critters and I prepared a special clubbing instrument.

Frances at the Lighthouse Animal Rescue had warned us of the “bufo” toads. It’s a misnomer to call a toad a “bufo” because that is the name of the class of toads.

(Note to self: class, toads, never use those two words together again. Toads have no class. Remember Terry the Toad from American Graffiti?)

John does a good job explaining why Gringo dog owners freak out at the sight of a toad. Go read the blog.

Except he forgot to mention the horrible death a dog suffers if it grabs a toad. The toad secretes poison and the dog will immediately go into seizures with certain death to follow unless action is take to dilute the poison and administer a shot of eppy.

Our toad was on the rancho last night when Nancy went to walk Sofi and Oliver (on leashes.) She spottedit and let out a yell. I grabbed my trusty walking stick and approached with caution.

Like John, my machetes (yes I have two brand new ones and one used one!) are coming in the container. Bud says he uses a five iron. Thanks Bud! My golf clubs are in the container too.

The toad was not anxious to escape. I didn’t take a big backswing because I didn’t know how it would react to my movement. So I did a shortened “Kill Bill” hee-ya move. That just stunned him for a moment, but that was all I needed. With a rapid succession of whacks I beat that sumbitch until his guts came out his mouth.

My foot measures 10 1/2″ – the toad would be longer if stretched out – including the guts coming out of his mouth.

There are now two less bufo toads in Costa Rica and my days of letting the dogs run free have ended. That damn toad scared the crap out of me.

Nancy said I should have seen the one that got away.

No thanks. But if I do, I want a machete or clubbing instrument of death.

Geeky Animated Gif Monday

Published on July 11, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 1 Comment

Waiting for this to happen to Sedona.

A Day of Firsts – First Blood

Published on July 10, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 4 Comments Tags: .

Today, the beginning of my second week at Sedolsoder in Costa Rica was a day of firsts before midday.

The first first was the first planting in Nancy’s Friend’s Garden. Never having been much of a planting person (planting means we usually just inherited the previous homeowner’s flowers and then let them go to hell from neglect.

We have been told that anything grows anywhere in Costa Rica with little or no care. The proof is all around us – the untended fence posts are full grown trees. Farmers will stuff a tree limb in the ground and wrap some barbed wire around it. When left unattended, these limbs turn into trees.

I think I can grow things here.

Nancy had a fantastic idea – one that is certainly “old hat” to flower gardeners everywhere.  She wants a Friend’s Garden.  Every friend gets to choose a plant for the Friend’s Garden.  Cheryl, our first visitor, chose a lemon tree.  Frances, who is a new friend that lives here, chose oregano. “Because it should be something useful.”

The lemon tree went into the earth today. The oregano will be pot grown until our construction is completed.

The Friend’s Garden will be visible from our bedroom window.

Isn’t that a great idea?

The second first was the conquering of a fresh coconut.This also provided for the third first – first blood.

The coconut tree is near the Friend’s Garden. The nuts have been tormenting me since I arrived. Nancy was sure that when they are ripe, coconuts fall to the ground. I know from watching Survivor that one must go get them.

The first blood was the result of an out of control shovel. Having little experience with garden implements when using them to knock coconuts out of trees, the I took a mighty swing and missed – the coconut – but hit my leg.

Owie.

The coconut I grounded after a few more swings was too young. It was full of pipa (coconut water) but no meat. As with most things, it was a booger to get to the water. Luckily, the borrowed shovel was a handy tool for peeling the coconut. And from sheer dumb luck I knocked a hole in the coconut to get to the pipa. I’m not impressed. It’s just water.

But I’m told it is a helluva laxative. Let’s hope this day doesn’t have a fourth first: the Sedolsoder Squirts.

El Wrongo! A Few Costa Rica Bullsh*t Moments.

Published on July 8, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 1 Comment Tags: .

Downtown Atenas Costa Rica, July 7,2011

Yeah, moving to Costa Rica has had some bullsh*t moments.
Bullsh*t moment #1
Nancy arrived on June 21 and woke up the next morning to workers tearing out our coffee crop. The developer AND the caretaker told them that the coffee plants were not on our property.
Wrongo, el Costa Rica 95 breath!
She told them to stop, which they did immediately and the project manager, Patrick, a French-Canadian transplant, told her that he would have the property resurveyed at their expense to find the property lines.
In the meantime, still in the U.S., I contacted our CR attorney Pablo, to get him in on the Great Costa Rica 95 Coffee Destruction Act of July 2011.
A couple days later, the topographer showed up to establish the property lines (again) and sho nuff, we was right, Bubba!
Patrick said he would do whatever we wanted to fix his error. Since I was close to moving, we told him to sit tight and we would decide once we met face-to-face.
We want the coffee replaced we decided. We enjoyed talking about our coffee crop and we will enjoy watching it grow and be harvested. We lost a year’s crop, but tranquilo! It wasn’t our money anyway – the caretaker Edgar got the profits. Now he will have a terraced hillside of Costa Rica 95 that will be giving him a new crop at this time next year.
Bullsh*t moment #2
We are paying for our neighbor’s water and electricity! The former owner of our house gave permission for a friend of a friend to build and tap into his water and electric. We didn’t give him permisson.” Somebody” forgot to disconnect his unlived-in house from our meters.
“Somebody” thought we wouldn’t mind paying the electricty and water for a vacant house.
Wrongo, el Edison-Costeau breath.
Pura vida! No problemo. Everybody assures us the electric and water will be disconnected and we will be reimbursed. Dang right there Chester, sho nuff, we was right again.
Bullsh*t moment #3
Today we came home to no water, zippo, nada, el dryo, Lawrence of Arabia breath. I looked for Patrick AGAIN, but he was not around. I told Edgar, the caretaker, “Mi casa, no agua no.” (Edgar no habla engles.) He smiled and said “Mi reparar” as he gestured that somehow the line had come apart right where they were working!
“Cinco minutos… cinco minutos.”
It was less than that because by the time I had walked the 25 meters to mi casa, the agua was reparer.
Bullsh*t moment #4
ICE (ee-say) is the government owned phone company that provides the bulk of the phone and internet services. A couple months ago, they made a big deal about offering the iPhone 4 with web access. So we figured Nancy would jailbreak her iPhone and we would grab a SIM card from ICE and be on the web – at least with her phone.
El-wrongo Al Gore breath. Since March they have decided that new customers can only get voice and text on phones for a prepaid service. They are not offering any new customers internet access for a prepaid plan. Those of us who just moved here need to be a customer of ICE for six months before they will add it to a phone.
Option dos is to get internet access at the house via the landline and DSL – again through ICE.
We can’t get internet because:

  • we are too far from town.
  • the landline at Sedolsoder is owned by some other corporation
  • they aren’t selling anymore Wi-Max connections via data card “for a few days.”

Our real estate agent Olga, lets us use her connection. It just breaks my heart to HAVE to go see Olga – as often as possible! She is a techie too! Mac woman to the core: Mac laptop, iPhone, iPad.

We will meet today with Bud who will get us internet from another provider. He used to be in the business of installing cell/internet towers and has some good connections. Har.
Our life has not be a bowl of mangos despite all my previous gushing.
Our life before had it’s ups and downs.
But Pura Vida! Life is full of Bullsh*t moments and Costa Rica is the same. It’s just that the Bullsh*t moments here might involve access to your water or electricty or internet – or more accurately, lack of access.
So how do we handle the Costa Rica Bullsh*t? We eat it for dinner!

Ten Awesome Ways To Destroy Your Travel Trailer

Published on July 8, 2011 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: .

Guest post while I’m moving stuff to Costa Rica. If I never return to blogging, blame Costa Rica. Pura Vida!

We used to travel around in a travel trailer. It was a giant step up from tent camping and it got us lots of places we couldn’t afford to go if we had to pay a motel bill and eat in restaurants.

If you’ve never traveled in a small travel trailer, then you really haven’t traveled at all. Nothing like finding that place after ten hours on the road and trying to get the thing backed in, leveled and all the tables and beds ready for use.

After a few days of setting up and taking down, most travel trailer travelers can only dream of ten awesome ways to destroy their travel trailer.

—

To some they are the menace of the motorways. To others a faithful friend that has served them well over many years. If you are of the former view, then the following methods of destroying minivans are sure to elicit warm fuzzy feelings combined with maniacal shrieks of glee. If you share the latter view, think of the destruction not as an affront to all that is decent in the world, but more as a fitting send-off worthy of these courageous creatures that endure scorn and ridicule from motorists who don’t know any better. To these brave beasts (well definitely ‘beastly’ in some opinions) we salute you:

1) Crash a car through it. Preferably with a long run-up for speed. Highly entertaining for spectators. Scarier than the dentist for the driver.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjKaeUby3S0

2) Pull the caravan through a gap between two walls that’s narrower than the width of the caravan. It’s just like trying to squeeze successfully into clothes that are too small for you. It ain’t gonna happen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5wh_bifwDoQ

3) Using heavy digging machinery is impressive to say the least and even provides the ability to clean up what’s left of the caravan afterwards. How very thoughtful and environmentally conscientious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDqllqzqbFc

4) Caravan racing strikes fear into the metallic hearts of caravans – rarely is one ever left standing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwTp3VZAZ08

5) If it’s going to go, let it go out in a blaze of glory with some TNT. You might even be able to roast some marshmallows whilst enjoying the flaming spectacle. A proud ending for a caravan, some tasty treats for you; now that’s a win-win situation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=625OsObNXRc&feature=related

6) Honestly, kids these days with their multitude of high tech gadgets and toys. They can’t handle the old school awesomeness that derives from two cranes and some caravans in a game of caravan conkers. Drama, excitement, tension; what more could you ask for?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3uiUfzvlJA

7) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s a flying caravan! Charging a caravan up a ramp to send it soaring into the air over parked cars below can be quite a sight. Unfortunately landing isn’t as graceful as a bird would do it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNRuoX2C8VE

8) Who says caravans can’t go quickly? They’ve got heart, they’ve got spirit, all they need is a chance! Top Gear attempted to break the world caravan speed record using a crane, a caravan and gravity. They certainly broke something alright, just not exactly the speed record…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mTI9MsE-9g

9) How about some remodelling? Always wanted a bigger door for your caravan or perhaps another window? One caravan, one chainsaw and a chance for you to live out your architectural dreams.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Llh1fCnxJg0

10) For this last recipe of caravan carnage you will require: one tree, some axes or chainsaws, one unsuspecting caravan placed just so, and someone who can scream ‘Timber!’ very loudly. You got a caravan so you could be one with nature; well now your caravan can be too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Auv5L3Fy7ZQ&feature=related

 

Make the most of your caravan with Picthup.com – for the best caravan holidays in the UK.