Irritable Blog Syndrome

Rule #1 in blogging: Readers don’t care about your problems.

(ignored)

I’ve been sick.

Hershey squirshies + fever + aches + general malaise.

In the U.S. it would be referred to as “the flu” and a medical professional, if one chose to seek one, would recommend plenty of fluids, ibuprofen, and bed rest.

And after four days of feeling crappy, cranky and irritable, eventually the “flu” would pass.

It hit me Monday after meeting Monika our “nother attorney.”  She is our residency attorney, not to be confused with our real estate attorney or our effin’ car attorney.

After four days of suffering, I decided to seek the advice of a medical professional.  Dr. Claderon, because Dr. Candy wasn’t available.

How do you say diarrhea in Spanish?

El Squirto?

No…Gripe.

That is not your cue to complain about how irritated you  are with this postl

It’s GREE-pay.  (don’t forget to to roll the r…) Ok, technically that means influenza in Spanish…

Dr. Calderon provided the symptoms in fairly good english with suitable hand gestures just in case I needed a visual.

I love charades. Picture in your mind’s eye how you would act out diarrhea.

Anyhoo, I got a bag of Ringers (IV) along with a bag of electrolytes and went packing after and hour with a scrip to the local pharmacy for:

  • Acteric pills – an antiboitic
  • Espontal pills – for my upset tummy
  • Enterogermina – to restore the flora in my gut killed by the Aceteric pills

And four hours later, I am cured.

Before: fever, sweat, sleep, drink, shiver, squirt, sleep, pee, shiver, squirt ,sweat, pee, shiver, squirt sleep, fever. Continue for four days.

After: Normal daily activities. Free to attempt a return to non-irritating blog posts.

And in case you are wondering…

Once treatment is completed, the fecal load of spores of Bacillus clausii falls exponentially until it disappears after about 10 days after the end of treatment.

hee, fecal load. What a great name for a rock band.

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Comments

Irritable Blog Syndrome — 4 Comments

  1. A fine post all around. Glad you’re over your irritated blog syndrome and feeling better. So I take it that I need to move to Costa Rica if I want to cure the flu in 4 hours? What else can they cure in 4 hours? If I move to Costa Rica can I still receive my veteran’s disability benefits?

    Hope your Gripé is over for good.

    • Excellent idea: hope a plane, take the cure, return! (or don’t return, even better idea.)

      U.S. should ship ALL disabled vets here – if they want to come. 🙂
      How clever you are to put the thingy over the e. If it’s not gone for good at least now I know not to suffer too long.

  2. Well, I got through this irritable blog post just fine. I guess having a son that would think your post was hysterical and a ‘fine piece of art’ has conditioned me to absorb and tolerate pretty much anything. Soooo glad you’re feeling better Mark…can’t have you out of commission for too long. ~Joy