Baby boomer man humorously looking at mid-life, retirement, and memories.
From the land of women with big butts and tight jeans and tildes, I bid you a Happy New Ass.
Felize Ano Neuvo without the tilde over the “n” in ano changes the word from the intended “year” to “ass.”
So instead of Happy New Year, it becomes happy new ass.
Don’t get me started on umlats… as in Tilde Froling
(two dots above the “o” – and did I just make up a new emoticon? What does this look like to you
I think it kinda looks like Kilroy.
Happy New Year.
Like most Baby Boomers, I used to love Kmart. I used to love Sears.
News today is that Sears will be closing 120 Sears and Kmart stores across the U.S. and Canada. This will come as no surprise to people who still might wander into a Kmart store or a Sears store looking for the glory days before Walmart.
The question that will be studied in B schools for years is: Did Sears kill Kmart? Did the Kmart acquisition kill Sears? Or were they both doomed because Walmart outdid them both?
Remember the Kmarts of old? Store managers were more than abused clerks. They actually had some power to stock their shelves according to local wants and needs. Of course when they screwed up, it created the iconic Blue Light Special opportunities. Blue Light Specials also kept shoppers captive for hours in stores during peak shopping times, like the day after Thanksgiving or Good Friday. Who in their right mind would consider leaving a Kmart to shop elsewhere when Kmart might run a Blue Light Special on Jeggings for 80% off?
Don’t need Jeggings? But they are 80% off. Forget need, it was all about scoring the bargains. Bragging rights.
At some point, some “genius” at Kmart figured out that the store managers had too much power. There were some store managers that did a horrible job of stocking their stores and the Blue Light Specials were killing profit margins.
So Kmart decided to centralize buying. A buyer sitting in Chicago decided what would be stocked on shelves in Fargo or Fairbanks or Flagstaff.
And then came Walmart. Buyers sitting in Bentonville are more like the people in Fargo or Fairbanks or Flagstaff.
Nobody who has worked closely with retailing ever thought Sears buying Kmart was a good idea.
Sears.
Is there a brand that says “old people” more than Sears?
And by “old people” I mean Baby Boomers. We used to love Sears because they had good merchandise at a fair price and… AND… they would deliver, install, and gasp… even service… their big ticket merchandise.
What was Sears supposed to bring to the Kmart party?
It never happened.
Walmart happened. Walmart killed Sears and Kmart both.
One factor that Walmart capitalized on that was out of their control: Kmarts are located in old shopping centers on the wrong side of town. Sears stores are located in expensive malls. Walmart built standalone locations and negotiated mind-busting land deals because land owners knew that the out parcels would command outrageous prices once the store brought traffic to the location.
There you have it. Who killed Sears/Kmart?
They were both on life-support, but it’s Walmart that is kicking the cord that is loosely hanging from the outlet.
By the way, Sears Holdings still has almost 4000 stores. Stay tuned for more announcements of store closings during 2012.
Our first bag of coffee will be our last.
We’re getting out of the coffee business – but it wasn’t entirely our choice. Two other people had a dramatic impact on our coffee future.
Patrick decided that he would tear out the coffee plants on our property without asking. Well, okay, technically he asked the caretaker who was around for seven years. The caretaker told Patrick that the coffee was not on our property.
Wrongo, Folger’s breath.
Luckily, Nancy was here, knew the property lines and stopped him before he destroyed every single mature coffee plant. Patrick promised he would replace the coffee at his expense.
That didn’t work.
He stalled long enough that now the only plants available to purchase are very young immature coffee plants – and we are entering the dry season. Coffee takes 4-5 years of careful cultivation before producing beans.
That won’t work.
We have now agreed that we will be in the citrus fruit business.
We told Patrick to plant some citrus trees among the remaining coffee plants. Oranges, lemons, tangerines, grapefruit are much better for a person in the long run.
The other reason we are getting out of the coffee business is Edgar. Edgar is the caretaker that raised and harvested our coffee. He is leaving and won’t be around to grow the young plants into producers.
Raising coffee is a hard, hot, dirty, and dangerous job.
So our first bag of coffee will be our last. Nancy will be working her magic on the coffee bag in the picture as a souvenir of our first – and last year – as coffee producers. We will remain coffee consumers, but no longer will our beans have a chance of being in your double-tall, lo-fat, grande, mocha frap.
That didn’t work.
Look for us in a few years at your local Jamba Juice bar.
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Contact
GoingLikeSixty@gmail
