Monthly Archive for January, 2012

Pinterest Made My Erectile Dysfunction Worse

Published on January 31, 2012 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Droopy on off switch erectile dysfunction

A person asked me recently if I was “handy.”

I about spit out my oatmeal.

I said I was not.

I bet you are analytical, she said.

How could I not agree? Ole analytical me.

I never was considered handy

Could barely unwrap candy.

If it was a task considered critical,

I would stand back and be analytical,

And question the modus operandi.

 

Handy has never been one of my strong points. Just yesterday, I put together some cheapo shelves which required screwing one leg into another with a shelf in between. It wasn’t until I got the last legs assembled that I realized I had three legs upside down. (The top shelf had caps to cover the legs that could only be installed one way.)

I can’t erect anything without messing it up and starting over.

Imagine my thrill of having Nanc’ spend hours and hours and hours looking at all the cool things on Pinterest. I updated my Facebook status with: teach a person to fish and she will be busy for hours, show her the internet and she won’t bother you for weeks.

Nancy replied: “Or show her Pinterest.”

I’m not kidding, she will spend HOURS scrolling through tons of very cool things. If I haven’t heard from her in a while and suddenly I hear

“Come look at this…”

I know it is a project that she wants me to attempt. The stuff is always very cool and on the surface looks like a Do-It-Yourself deal, but it really makes the erectile dysfunction set in when the directions start with:

Pinterest.

Pinterest is a virtual pinboard. Pinterest allows you to organize and share all the beautiful things you find on the web. You can browse pinboards created by other people to discover new things and get inspiration from people who share your interests.

People use pinboards to plan their weddings, decorate their homes, and share their favorite recipes.

It also is the emasculator of unhandy men around the world.

You’re welcome for that image…

I have to log off now, Nancy needs to get back to Pinterest.

Geeky Animated Gif Monday – Blowing in the Wind

Published on January 30, 2012 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments

Game Shows That Would Be Infinitely Better if Host Was Drunk. And Some That I Think ARE Drunk.

Published on January 27, 2012 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments

Now that Pat Sajak has announced that he and Vanna White used to toss back some Margaritas while taping Wheel of Fortune, here are some game shows that I thin would be infinitely better if the host was drunk.

Sajak said they would drink:

“Two or three or six”

during a two-and-a-half hour break they had on days when they were shooting. In interview with ESPN 2′s “Dan Le Batard Is Highly Questionable,” Sajak said he and White would

“then come and do the last shows and have trouble recognizing the alphabet.”

This was back in the day when fake money was won and then time was wasted “buying” prizes at grossly inflated retail prices.

So here’s my list of game shows that would be greatly enhanced if the host was drunk:

  • Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader: Jeff Foxworthy drunk dealing with some smarty-pants 5th graders and a slew of really dumb contestants. Winner!
  • Jeopardy: “I’ll take white wine for $200 Alex.”  Alex: Yeah, I had a bottle of Two Buck Chuck for lunch, loser.”
  • Minute to Win It: Guy Fieri drunk would just be enchanting…

 ”Anytime any woman mentioned ‘cream,’ Guy went into a sexual riff. When cutting the show, you had to tell the editors to watch Guy’s eye line, because it’s always on breasts.”

  • The Price is Right. Drew Carey falling into the Showcase Showdown wheel would be a show stopper. Bob Barker doing the same thing would be unbelievable.

Here are some game shows where I’m pretty sure the host is following the Pat Sajak and Vanna White school of gaming and performing drunk:

  • Sábado Gigante
  • Family Feud: Steve Harvey could be drunk, who can tell? I’m saying “yes.”
  • WOW: The CatholicTV Challenge: two words: communion wine
  • The Gong Show. Tell me Chuck Barris didn’t pop a few back before appearing. g’head.

Ole Pat and Vanna just went up a notch in my book now that the truth is out. Just hope Vanna doesn’t contradict Pat. I’ll be watching the innerwebs for clips from the old Wheel of Fortune.

 

 

Geeky Animated Gif Monday – Star Trek Moobs

Published on January 23, 2012 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments

A Year Ago We Set Foot in Costa Rica for the First Time. And Now We Live Here.

Published on January 22, 2012 in Baby Boomer. 3 Comments

January 20, 2011 we landed in Costa Rica for the first time.

And now we live here permanently and are on our way to becoming residents.

Here’s the timetable:

  • January 20, 2011 we arrived.
  • January 22, 2011 we took TheRealCostaRica.com tour.
  • Sometime in March Nancy and a friend returned for a week to look at homes. They found one and made an offer which was accepted.
  • We listed our home in Bowling Green, Kentucky with a real estate agent.
  • April 2011, I came down to make the purchase of the house. Left Thursday, closed on Friday and returned on Sunday.
  • Sunday evening when I walked in, Nancy said: ” We have an offer on the house.”
  • We made a counter-offer on Monday which was accepted.
  • I quit my job.
  • Nancy moved to our house in Costa Rica with two dogs on June 21 with a different friend in tow.
  • The container left Bowling Green on July 1.
  • I moved with the remaining two dogs on July 2.
  • We started construction on a master bedroom addition and bodega on August 1.
  • The construction was completed in November.

Did we mean for it to happen this rapidly?

Not by a long shot. What started as a five year plan turned into a five month plan when we were able to sell our house for 96% of our asking price and got a 90 day possession window.

We broke the cardinal rule of “rent before you buy” in Costa Rica. Not because we felt we were smarter than anybody else, but because we had four dogs and we just couldn’t visualize renting a house in Bowling Green. I wasn’t retired, so coming down for more than a month wasn’t possible (I would use all my vacation time on one trip)

We are damn lucky. We love where we landed. Perfect? Pshaw. Is any place? We survived the rainiest October in the country’s history all the while there were construction guys clamoring around. One of our dogs died.

But that is all behind us and nothing but a bright future lies ahead.

Not working in Costa Rica is working out just fine so far.