Creative Writing Challenge – Describe a CPAP Pillow

cpap-pillow-woot

In our family there are to CPAP users. Except we call them Cpapa because that’s the typo that most commonly occurs when we are chatting about our experiences.

A pillow especially for Cpapa users might be kinda useful for some, but I seem to sleep just fine without this sleep aid.

Woot.com offered this pillow on their site and as usually for them, came up a description that defies conventional copywriting.

Not sure I agree totally with the copywriter that penned this prose for a pillow especially for CPAP users.
I think you can dress up as a super hero and go to bed… here I am as Ghostrider from Top Gun

Ghostrider_cpapmask_sleepmask

 

But if you think your writing skills need a challenge, I dare you to come up with a better sales pitch than this “do and don’t” list from the wicked minds at Woot.com

When deciding on a pillow for your CPAP device, one must consider the DOs and DO NOTs of pillow ownership. You can rest assured that we have designed an exhaustive list of all the different possibilities and sorted them accordingly. Please check the list inside should you have any questions regarding CPAP Pillow ownership.

DO: enjoy the patented hollow areas that will alleviate pressure on the mask area.

DO NOT: assume that you can dress up as a superhero and go to bed. Wearing a costume carries certain responsibilities, after all.

DO: respect the contoured shape that will support your head and neck.

DO NOT: expect this pillow to support your head and neck all the way through graduate school. Attempt to find a scholarship or perhaps, a job?

DO: accept that the high quality design will sustain for years of use.

DO NOT: attempt to travel in time with this pillow. Time travel voids any and all warranties related to this purchase (and could possibly trigger an alternate future where you yourself owe US money!)

DO: feel free to note that CPAP is kind of a funny name.

DO NOT: assume that CPAP is a programming language. CPAP is unsuitable for anything more advanced than a sundial.

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Comments

Creative Writing Challenge – Describe a CPAP Pillow — 1 Comment

  1. Isn’t CPAP the programming language for mainframe computers? I didn’t know mainframes required special pillows but I guess considering how old they are by now they probably need the occasional nap.