I think Danica Patrick is cute. Not hot. Not sexy. Not slutty. Just cute.

I’m getting old.

But in her latest commercial for Boost Mobile, Danica Patrick says I still have a shot to have her go motor-boating in my man boobs.

Because we all know, what is in commercials actually happens in real life.

Bob Parsons

Even if Bob Parsons, the GoDaddy.com guy, doesn’t. I think he thinks that throwing lots of money at Danica Patrick to appear as a stripper in his commercials will get him a shot.

News flash Bobbo. My man boobs have a better shot than your money.

I saw it on a commercial.

Which BTW: Boost Mobile sounds like a plan I need. Now I just need to score really cool unlocked phone for a buck and a half.

PS: Danica Patrick will make the move to NASCAR and eat their lunch.

Walgreens has 360 Vodka, 1.75L Bottle on sale for $19.99 – $20 rebate = ($0.01).

Limit 2 bottles per rebate/per household.

“360 Vodka is crafted from a philosophy of eco-awareness. 4x Distilled and 5x Filtered for unrivaled character. It’s the finest vodka Earth has to offer.”

Well free vodka is always the finest vodka Earth has to offer.

360 VODKA is offering a $20.00 rebate.

Nancy is heading to Hotlanta for a big knitters confab. She may make a stop to stock up, I certainly am!

The Junk Drawer Blog is goofing off somewhere this week, but she left an assignment for her commenters. She stole a comment game from Comedy Plus.

The Junk Drawer Blog is fun, but whoooo boy, her commenters are just so vanilla, so white bread, so unimaginative.

Here’s how SHE explained the Comment Game.

It’s very simple. I start the game off by listing two words or phrases, like waffles or pancakes, and you pick the one you like better. You can explain why if you like.

She started with Twitter or Facebook. Nice start, but OMG, her commenters responded with choices like:

• Mac or PC
• Coffee or Tea
• Boxers or Briefs
• Peanut Butter or Jelly

I. am. NOT. kidding. And it goes on for over 100 comments.

I played too, here were my choice:

• Po or Laa Laa – which the next person said they didn’t have a clue about. Dur, Hello Google? So I came back with…
• Clarabelle or Crusty – which the next poster didn’t know, but chose Clarabelle because it was a nice name! OMG, puh-leeze! My final entry, before I decided to hijack this idea was…
• Simon Cowell or Simon & Shuster. The next commenter chose Simon Cowell because she hadn’t heard of “the other one.”

LISTEN UP. Here’s the deal. I am taking over this idea.

There is a big prize involved.

A wonderful Marilyn Monroe shirt from the wonderful people at TeesForAll.com. I wanted a gift certificate from TeaseForMe.com, but haven’t heard back. TeesforAll.com is not doing this because they like me, they want to sell you some Tee shirts. Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. They have a really cool Stones shirt, and some other Boomer targeted stuff.

WIN THIS SHIRT

No, it doesn’t have to be the Marilyn Monroe baby-doll with pink stripes, unless you want it. And then I want a picture of you in it.

HERE’S HOW WE’RE GONNA PLAY:

It’s kind of like the The Junk Drawer Blog contest, BUT, the combinations need to be weird, arcane, tricky, smart, obscure, clever, whatever. (Like my examples! )

AND: you must explain why you chose the word you did, to avoid miscellaneous fakery.

After a while, I’ll close the comments and then we will vote on the best combination.  Finalists may be contacted to provide a full and complete explanation of their word combinations so you can’t fake it easily.

Got it? Good.

Here is my combination, you take it from here:

Sky King or Enola Gay?

It’s time for everybody to just shut up about Krispy Kreme. It’s a glazed donut. Nothing more. The store has a neon sign in the window that says Hot Now. So what if you can walk in and see the lovely plump circles of doughy goodness climb out of the hot grease only to be coated with a luscious glaze and put in the box with your name on it?

Stop. Enough already.

Krispy Kreme Challenge? No,not what you imagine,  it’s a foot race! 4 miles, some donuts and a small tee shirt. $16. Sponsored by a donut maker.

Krispy Kreme valentine donuts?

Just shut up  (we don’t have a Krispy Kreme.)

Yes, I am slightly obsessing over this fact. Here is  the story.

We used to have a Krispy  Kreme.

A big hail storm hit Smallburg and wiped out lots of roofs. Krispy  Kreme closed because of “hail damage.”

They never reopened.

Here is the scoop. The franchise could not exist on my once a week dozen. But they didn’t have the bucks to close it down and have to pay off all the associated costs.

Viola! Cello! Hail storm, big insurance settlement.

Store closes forever. Owner skeedaddles.

So just shut up about Krispy Kreme, mmmmK?

Oh yeah, it’s spelled donuts.

While you were away, two important anniversaries came around and you didn’t even make plans to pop a cork or pop a top did you! Two defining moments for Boomers everywhere, and because I wasn’t at my computer to hound you, you would have just let them slip past on your calendar with no fanfare. I should make you all turn in your Boomer Cards immediately.

• The seamless Aluminum beer can will be 50 years old this month. Before fine people at Coors introduced the seamless aluminum can, we were forced to drink from tin cans with a seam. Heavy, man. Heavier, man. It’s no wonder Boomer boys are less physically fit, it would take twice as many aluminum cans to equal the weight of the tin can. Pumping iron indeed. Boomers invented it: we called it pumping tin.

That can ultimately spelled the demise of the tin beverage can developed in the mid-1800s. Industry officials say the development of the Coors aluminum can forever changed the way people drink beer and other beverages.

Needless to say while one industry died, two others sprang springed sprung to take it’s place: the sheet aluminum business and the recycling of aluminum business.

But of course we really know that it’s what’s inside that is truly recyclable.

The Mac was the first computer for many Boomers where one could actually focus on being productive rather than learning how to make an application actually work! I won’t rant and rave about Apple and how it sucks that it isn’t the dominant computer in the whole world. Bill Gates is a Prick.

But this was a defining moment in marketing -

Happy Anniversary Seamless Beer Cans and Apple Macintosh. I’ve learned to live without both. But it was fun back in the day!