This is not our road...

I ran across a great story teller the other day when I was trying to buy a used dryer.

He decided to publish his tale about our attempted transaction on a Yahoo discussion group.

I advertised a dryer for a  cheap price which included delivery if in or near Grecia. Well a buyer  told me he lived in Atenas and I agreed to deliver free anyway. When I met him in central Atenas- he told me to follow him to  his house. after 25 minutes of driving on the worst roads I have ever been on- I stopped following him and turned around and went home. >It took me 3 hours to drive there and home and $30 gas. He lied to me- why didnt he be truthful and tell me he lived way way past Atenas? At least he could have taken delivery in central Atenas and we could have put  the dryer in his suv. I thought my old truck was going to fall apart on  those bad roads.

Makes for a great story, right? As with all story tellers, he left out some details.

Details that kinda change the story.

I was that buyer.

Here’s my side:

I advertised a dryer for a  cheap price which included delivery if in or near Grecia. 

Cheap = $250 USD. It was fair price for a dryer in Costa Rica. But hardly cheap.

Well a buyer  told me he lived in Atenas and I agreed to deliver free anyway.

I told him we planned to come to his place to pick it up. He said he could bring it to Atenas after he went to San Jose. I told him I lived in Guacimo. He didn’t know where that was. I asked him to meet me at the gas station the next day. He agreed to meet us about 4:00 pm and I would buy it.

He never showed up.

I got a text the next morning saying he didn’t get home until late and could he bring it that day and he would call back in an hour when he left. Because he stood me up, he said he would bring it to our house. I told him our road was very rough. He joked “just like every other road in Costa Rica.”

Five hours later he calls to say he was on his way. I told him to get to the Red Cross and call me for more directions.  He called, but his phone was almost dead… a fact he told me about five times. After trying to give him simple instructions: Turn left and go 4.4 miles, I gave up and said I would meet him.

When I met him in central Atenas- he told me to follow him to  his house. 

This is true.

after 25 minutes of driving on the worst roads I have ever been on- 

We drove 15 minutes at ten miles an hour on the road that runs from Atenas to Escobal. There is scheduled bus service. It’s a dirt road, but dozens and dozens of people drive it everyday.  It is National Highway 707. I thought my old truck was going to fall apart on
those bad roads.

I stopped following him and turned around and went home. 

When he turned around, we were within 500 meters of our gate. If he knew where to look he could SEE our house. He never tried to communicate via flashing his headlights or honking his horn that he had it and was quitting.  When he stopped, I knew he wasn’t be hind me. I turned around and back-tracked to find out what was the problem.

He was gone.

It took me 3 hours to drive there and home and $30 gas.

It’s 31 km. Google maps says it takes 30 minutes to drive and that’s about right. If it took that much gas, he has a leak in his tank – entirely possible!

He lied to me- why didnt he be truthful and tell me he lived way way past Atenas?

I didn’t lie. I told him, our original intentions were to come to his place in Grecia. Then I said I would meet him in Atenas. But he insisted on delivering the dryer.

I thought my old truck was going to fall apart on  those bad roads. 

Me too! I think that about our effin’ car everyday!

——–

The dude drives for “3 hours” spends “$30″ on gas, gets within 500 meters of collecting is $250 and he turns around and gives up.

As you can imagine, there is a lot of sugar cane grown in Costa Rica. There would be a lot more grown I bet, if U.S. tax payers stopped giving sugar farmers in the U.S. subsidies. If consumers were able to buy their sugar at world market prices, that’s almost $4 billion.

And the sugar users: mega conglomerates like Coke and Little Debbie would see a nice boost to the bottom line.  OR the price of Coke and Little Debbies would plummet and the U.S. could grow fatter cheaper.

If sugar quotas were eliminated, and American consumers and business had been able to purchase 100% of their sugar in 2011 at the world price (average of 31.68 cents per pound) instead of the average U.S. price of 56.22 cents, they would have saved about $3.86 billion.

I’m not smart enough to figure out if this is accurate. I don’t know how you account for the impact of high fructose corn syrup in the price of sugar.

But this guy says it pretty well:

The cost of most trade protection is largely invisible and hard to calculate, but the cost of sugar protection is directly visible and measurable, since the USDA and the futures markets regularly report prices for both high-cost domestic sugar and low-cost world sugar.

Wait… sugar causes obesity.

Obesity bad.

Perhaps Congress should pay mega-farms NOT to grow sugar.

Sweet.

In Costa Rica motor vehicles are required to be inspected on a regular basis. It’s called the Revision Tecnica Vehicular or RTV or Retieve.

I did it today.

And the car passed.

HOO-HA.

When we bought Bessie the Beater, it had been through one (and probably many) inspections. As seen by the sticker on the windshield, the current RTV was good through the end of the month of February, 2012.

Because I was unsure of my success in getting Bessie the Beater through RTV without some major expenditures, it seemed to make sense to get her in as quickly as possible. Then if she failed, I’d have some time to remedy her failings.

I consulted with our resident expert on such matters: Bruce.

My initial plan was to hire the husband of our vet Doctora Sharon, Alejandro, who is a auto-body (not out-a-body) man to drive the car to the RTV on my behalf. I would sit quietly in the passenger seat absorbing it all.

But Bruce did such a great job explaining the process, that I figured I’d give it a go all by my lonesome. He explained that I could go online and get an appointment (!).

Gasp. It worked. On Wednesday I picked Friday 10 a.m for the Bessie-spection.  I got an immediate confirmation of my appointment which I could print and within an hour, I got a text confirming my appointment.

Gadzooks. How cool.

After reading TheRealCostaRica.com list I figured I could give Bessie the once over:

Seat Belts : You have one for each seat the belts are working properly and have no cuts or wear.

Steering Wheel : It works correctly. Does not have excessive play.

Wipers : are in good condition, operate and clean the windshield.

Polarized visors (if any): Check that the brushes do not touch.

Windshield : No cracks or ‘bull’s eyes”

Mirror : It’s in good condition and secure.

Doors : Open and close properly.

Speedometer : Working.

Fuel cap : Capped and secure.

Front and rear bumper : They’re in good condition and securely attached.

Reflective : They are 2 red and reflect light at night. This is for certain high capacity passenger vehicles like tourist type vans.

Light over License Plate : Lights up and is not loose.

Brake lights : 2 lateral and 1 central, are red, they work and are in good condition.

Rear turn signals : Red, orange, no more than 4, are working and in good condition.

Directional : They’re white or orange, no more than 4, and are working and in good condition.

High and low beams : No more than 4, white or yellow color with no difference between them.Subject and in good condition.The change of high and low light work.

Halogen (if any): They are white or yellow and should not work with high beams.

Decorative lighting products you may have installed and which are prohibited by law.

Mufflers, smoke and any noise : If gasoline engine accelerates and smokes, will not pass RTV. No abnormal noises or have the air filter or carburetor modified. Muffler required.

Tires : They are smooth, no cuts, bulges and with sufficient tread.

Fenders : Secured and in good condition.

Plates : The numbers are easily read match the title.

Title:  You MUST have the original title and not a copy.

Fluid levels Must be full. Oil, water, brakes, etc.

OK then… Wednesday evening Nancy and I checked Bessie out.

Oopsie.

Front right hand turn signal was kaput. I checked the bulb and it looked OK to me.

Thursday afternoon we had to make a trip to San Jose to get Nancy’s eye freckle photographed. So Thursday morning I’m at Freddy the Mechanic’s place.

Freddy checked the bulb and it looked OK to him, so he flicked it with his finger. It blinked.

Freddy flicked it again, it stopped.

So Freddy did the Tico thing… he twisted the bulb and broke it. Then, trying to remove the socket still in the electrical fitting, he blew the fuse.

Tranquilo (no worries) Freddy had a bulb and fuse and replaced them. The bulb flickered again. Not flashing like a turn signal, but flickering like a candle in the wind (BTW: Elton John is playing in San Jose tonight.)

So Freddy wrapped the bulb socket with some electrical tape to give a snug fit and bingo: I had a right turn signal again.

Freddy gave the car his once over to check levels, added some coolant, and sent me on my way.

I arrived at the RTV early: 9:00 for a 10:00 appointment. I got in line behind three cars. When I got to the inspector he asked me for something… No Speaka Da Spanish!

Oficina! OK, got that. I missed checking in with the office.

I checked in, got a little slip of paper with my appointment time and plate number. I got back in a different line of vehicles.

Got to the inspector and she said

Pagar! OK, got that. I missed the different office where I had to pay (about $20)

Paid, got a receipt and got back in line behind three vehicles.

Soon I was inside getting the Bessie-spection.

After a visual inspection of some stuff, the inspector told me something and held up three fingers. She was standing at the passenger side. When I gave her the DAG look (Dumb Ass Gringo) she came around the the driver’s side pointed to the tach and said she wanted 3,000 rpm. So I revved her up (Bessie that is) and let her down.

Inspector lady said she needed 3,000 rpm steady… I guess they thought Bessie wasn’t warm enough. So I sat there idling at 3,000 rpm while she did the visual inspection on the car behind me.

Bessie then had the equivalent of a car-colonoscopy. They shoved a rod up the tailpipe and measured her gasses.

Passed.

Move forward to the next station where the headlights were checked, then to the next station where the alignment was checked, then to the next station where the wheels were spun up to about 25 mph and I had to apply the brakes. Front first, then rear, then emergency brake.

Then to the next station where a guy in a pit was inspecting the undercarriage. The car was on some shaker plates which gives the car a good shake side to side – with brakes on and with brakes off.

AND… PASSED! Got a new sticker and that chore is done for another year. Because the Smart car is less than five years old, that gets a two year pass. By next year I’ll have forgotten most of this and who knows what will happen.

But Bessie the Beater is now legal for another year.

I”m still passing gas.

Michelle at SeerInteractive.com sent me some money today.

I like Michelle – - –  but not only because she sends me money.

I like that Michelle has a great sense of humor.

That’s Michelle.  Actually, I guess Michelle’s Mom has the great sense of humor. The screen grab is from SeerInteractive’s Meet The Team page. Normally a “Meet The Team” page is really lame. First, there is the whole “Meet the Team” idea. Blech, that is so 70s. Second, most pages feature mug shots that are like high school graduation photos – or glamour shots – or hipster poses. Not at SeerInteractive.com, no siree Lorena Bobbitt.

Not SeerInteractive.com. They feature kid pix! BTW: Michelle is wearing a Halloween costume in her picture above – she is not auditioning for some pageant.

I asked Michelle if this girl was still channeling Mick Jagger (Stones.) When I woke up from my nap today and was contemplating writing this, I realized she is channeling Gene Simmons (Kiss.)

Michelle was nice and didn’t correct me.

If you’re into this kind of thing, they have a very active blog where they deal with such things as (echo effect on please) CHANGING THE WORLD THROUGH SEARCH (earch…earch…earch…):

1. When a listing expires (e.g. product runs out permanently) should you 301 or rel-canonical, and point the result to either the users profile or back to a category page (the one you want to rank) based on link juice, optimal user experience and appeasing Matt Cutts. :]

Maybe after my nap tomorrow, I’ll sit down and write my thoughts on the topic. I’m sure I’ll make some clever baby-boomer observation which will go over their heads.

Riiiiiiiight.