Archive for the 'Entertainment' Category

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Apple Annouces the iTit

Published on July 30, 2009 in Entertainment and Technology. 6 Comments Tags: .


Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women’s breast implants.

The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 depending on speaker size.

The iTit considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them…

manstaringatgazongas

UPDATE: On Brian’s suggestion, I checked to make sure the iTit was thoroughly tested. Here is a video of one of the tests.

UPDATE: Yanko Design has picked up on the iTit and offers this concept wireless mouse.

Erotic pleasure just took another techno turn and you can squarely blame the iTit for it. Deriving pleasure (rather inspiration) from Apple’s optical wireless mouse, the added feature to this design is tactile interaction with nipples! You read that right! A nipple provocatively beckons you to come and feel it…and responds to your caress as a joystick would.

UPDATE 2: For other concept iProducts: iShit, iBum, iBall, iCrotch, and Helena iVagina read this.

Conan Interprets Sarah Palin: Shatner Delivers

Published on July 28, 2009 in Baby Boomer, Blogging, Education, Entertainment and Politics. 1 Comment Tags: , , , .

Sarah Palin is a poet.
She don’t know it,
her feet don’t show it.
But they sure are Longfellows.

(How old IS that ditty?)

Here is William Shatner delivering Sarah Palin’s speech in poetic mode as dictated by Conan.

…soaring through nature’s finest show.
Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun.
And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road
that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty,
the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?
And then in the summertime such extreme
summertime
about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter
than just some months ago, than just some months from now,
with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here,
Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life
teeming along the road that is north to the future.

U.S. Internet Connectivity is Pathetic

Published on July 23, 2009 in Entertainment, kentucky, Money, Politics, Research and Technology. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

speed

I just ran a speed test on how well I am connected to the internet.

Better than my cousin-sister in Hazard, KY, and better than my daddy-uncle in Pikeville, KY, but 1/2 the speed of my friend Elin Woods, in Sweden, and 1/12 the speed of my long-lost friend Danny Choo in Japan.

Right now the government is deciding the future of the Internet in the United States.

The Federal Communications Commission is crafting our national high speed internet strategy, which will determine how fast the Internet is and who has access to high speed connections.

Help shape this policy in just two minutes.

Take this Speed Test, and help  update data and help make universal broadband a reality.

Take the Speed Test now:

http://www.speedmatters.org/speedtest2009

Then fill in the form to send a letter to your feral (no typo – little or no contact with real people) representatives. I personalized my letter because Speedmatters.org was just too nice in their letter.

The United States ranks just 15th among industrialized nations in broadband access — and this is costing our economy billions of dollars every year.

Every day, American businesses are missing out on opportunities to sell their goods and services in the global marketplace. Every day, the American people are missing out on important health and educational benefits. And every day, the American economy is missing out on good jobs created by high speed internet access.

That’s because the U.S. has historically invested relatively less on telecommunications than most other major countries. Consumers are charged more for slower speeds, and our current high-speed networks don’t even reach millions of American households.

Like Bubba-Louise, my cousin-sister in Hazard can’t even watch Keyboard Cat, because it won’t download.
H/she needs to see this stuff:

I Just Quit the Sunday Stealing Meme

Published on July 19, 2009 in Blogging and Entertainment. 0 Comments Tags: .


Sunday Stealing: The Heretic Meme

I shouldn’t be doing this because I’m not a baptized Catholic. So I am incapable of heresy. I RAWK.

1. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you lay in a bed with? Nancy

2. Where was the last place you went out to eat? El Mazatlan, which Varley referred to as El Mazoltov.

3. What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? Marguerita, unless you count the Dr Pepper and Rum I’m drinking now, which isn’t consumed, so never mind.

4. Which do you prefer – eyes or lips? Lips. Hard of hearing people always prefer lips.

5. Medicine, fine arts, or law? Fine Arts, are there Unfine Arts, would these called Larry Fine arts? nyuk nyuk nyuk

6. Best kind of pizza? What are you having? Last one we had was pineapple, grilled chicken and pepperoni. Anything but fish on my pizza is fine.

7. What is in store for your future? Cake or Death. Or Apple Pie.

8. Who was the last band you saw live? The band that played for Legally Blonde stage production.

9. Do you take care of your friends while they are sick? No.

10. How many songs are on your iPod? I don’t own an iPod.

11. Where is the last place you drove to? Le Club du Golfe this morning.

12. Where did your last kiss take place? Under a tree.

13. What were you doing at 11:59 PM on Monday night? Snoozing

14. Are you a quitter? If this meme doesn’t improve, yes.

15. Who was the last person you had in your house? In the Biblical sense? I’m guessing “no” so that would be Pat

15. What do you think about people who party a lot? How DO they DO it?

16. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? It depends on with whom I am discussing it and how specific I can get.

17. What was the last CD you purchased? Mamma Mia

18. What are two bands or singers that you will always love? Pfbbt. Close to becoming a quitter…

19. Which of the seven deadly sins are you guilty of? I can’t name them, but of the ones I can think of, all of them.

20. How is your last ex doing? None. I quit.

Remember the Taking of Pelham 1-2-3? It’s Back You F*****

Published on July 13, 2009 in Baby Boomer and Entertainment. 1 Comment Tags: , , , , .


travolta_taking-of-pelham-123
Remember the original Taking of Pelham 1-2-3? It was released in 1974.

I only vaguely remembered the plot and the movie trailers for the new release starring John Travolta and Denzel Washington didn’t do much to jar my memory.

In case you need a refresher, a NYC subway car is hijacked and a dispatcher has a hostage crisis on his hands. If the ransom isn’t paid, a passenger a minute is killed.

John Travolta plays the Robert Shaw part (the leader of the hijacking) and Denzel Washington plays the Walter
Matthau part of the MTA cop.

If you are not a fan of the “jerky-camera-school-of-photography” be prepared. The director Tony Scott loves it.

I like Travolta as a bad guy. He can pull it  off and Pelham 1-2-3 is another star in his crown for playing a really – really - bad guy in this film.

Denzel Washington is good in his good-guy role too.

In an effort to bring Pelham 1-2-3 current, the characters start espousing their religious views and theories which seemed out of character. But maybe that was just me.

And of course, there is a mind blowing, although totally unbelievable crash at the end.

It’s rated R so the F bombs are everywhere. But it’s full of action and bullets.

Pelham 1-2-3 makes me want to watch the 1974 version and see if F bombs add to the overall quality.

Nah, I already know the answer, they don’t.