Archive for the 'Family' Category

Sunday Stealing: I Peed My Pants


Sunday Stealing: The Imaginary Meme, Part One

1. Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
Full throttle empty my bladder peeing? No. Leakage? Yes. Carbonated drinks really do me in. One time I was trying to making it home from a day of kayaking and just. couldn’t. hold. it. I leaked. But I totally relieved myself in the yard. It’s good to be the guy. BTW: in Costa Rica, it is very common to see cab drivers and truckers peeing alongside the road. Very.
2. Who do you have a celebrity crush on now? I share a crush with St. Todd deCubbville on Sofia Vergara. Just looked at her website and I’ll probably be spending more time there. I also like Kim Spradlin the winner of Survivor: One World.
3. Would you date someone you met online?
No looking, but I know at least two couples my age that met online. So, yeah.
4. Do you wear underwear always?
No. You don’t want to know more, right?
5. Do you hate yourself at times?
No.
7. Do you like dirty movies?
Well, “dirty”? Raunchy, racy yes.
8. Could you believe Josha Ledet was voted off Idol?
Who? We didn’t watch one episode for the last two seasons.
9. When was the last time that you bought a car?
That would be the Dodge Magnum Station Wagon Kayak Hauler
10. Have you ever been camping?
Yes, a lot when I was a kid. We guys from the neighborhood would load up a small hay trailer and hook it to the back of the John Deere and off we would go to a local river, forest or lake.
My parents like to camp too, so we took a lot of camping vacations. As an adult, I took a hiatus because Nanc’ also camped as a kid and hated it. My last camp-out was an overnighter on the Barren River whilst kayaking.
11. How many times a day do you go on facebook?
Three.
12. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?
I Don’t Know, starring Can’t Remember and I Forget. It’s been at least two years.
13. Have you ever worried that you’d cut off a limb?
Many times. Assuming you meant a body part. I draw blood a lot when hacking the greenery.
14. Where did you get your last email from?
 65.111.175.195
15. Favorite website?
16. Are you down with ghetto?
I don’t know what that means
17. Will the world end in fire or ice?
Icy Hot
18. Do you believe in the afterlife?
No.
19. Would you be upset if facebook stopped working?
No. It would be a good thing for all of humanity.
20. How did you start your blog?
How or why? How? I use WordPress, Bluehost.com and GoDaddy.com

Barfing Her Way Across the USA – Albuquerque Chapter – Bed, Barf, and Beyond

This was the one where I ate and gambled my way around Albuquerque while she switched from bed to bathroom to barf.

Remember: we arrived in Albuquerque that morning before noon and it’s now 8:30 ish p.m. and we’re finally headed to the hotel.

I literally fell into bed and immediately went into a deep sleep, which didn’t last long.  I got hot, got cold, flipped and flopped, felt like if I didn’t keep moving, I would eventually be paralyzed from the aches.  Early in the morning, the first wave of barfing began.  I hurt so badly, it was all I could do to get out of bed.  Sat on the toilet with a wastebasket in my lap (sort of like hugging the porcelain throne).

In the on-deck circle is an awesome place she heaved.

Somebody’s Bored, and You Benefit. Barfing My Way Across the USA – Disney World


Nancy is recovering from lifting and suppressing various parts of her internalness. She can’t lift more than a six pack, and isn’t supposed to bend over and tie my shoes.

Oh, the suffering at La Hacienda de la Deductible.

I can’t remember the last time she wrote two blog posts in a week.

Can you say Bor-ed?

Here’s the next installment of Barfing My Way Across The USA – Chapter 2 – Disney World.

We had rented a van to haul everyone – on the way there, I started to get this mysterious illness again!  Zonked out in the front seat – aware of all the conversations, but unable to contribute because it was way too much effort to move my mouth. (Those that know me, will be shocked about this, I’m sure!)

Much more at her blog, and many more chapters too.

Yes, I thought of Chappaquiddick. It’s How We are Wired.

For the good he did, Title Nine and getting the vote for 18 year olds who could die but not vote, and a lot more, Ted Kennedy is also tied to Chappaquiddick by those of us old enough to remember.

It’s Chappaquiddick.
Not Chapaquitic.

Polarizing? for sure. He even got under Jimmy Carter’s skin.

“If Kennedy runs, I’ll whip his ass.”

But he knew MA politics and voters and rainmakers. He got things done. He was a kingmaker in the Senate.

How long will it take for the cable newsers to start dredging up his past escapades? Since I don’t watch, I don’t know, but I’m guessing it’s happening now.

Will NBC give Ted Kennedy the same treatment as Tim Russert? Probably not. Remember Senator Edward Kennedy was the definition of liberal, and mainstream media already classified (wrongly) as having the same political bias.

No matter how many troubles you have, none - NONE - compare to what the Ted Kennedy family has endured.

  • Joseph Patrick Kennedy, Jr.  Killed in action in the second world war.
  • Rosemary Kennedy – institutionalized from failed lobotomy
  • John F. Kennedy – assassinated
  • Robert Kennedy – assassinated

Forget about the extended family grief and problems. And yet, there has never been a hint of bitterness what our “civilized” society has done to the Kennedys and said about the Kennedys.

They continue to serve.

For that we are very lucky as a nation.

(comments are closed because I won’t be able to tolerate the venom this post might generate.)

If You Must Follow Somebody: Try @shitmydadsays

dad This is apparently Justin’s dad.
Justin uses Twitter
Justin tweets shit his dad says @shitmydadsays

If you must follow somebody, follow him.

Love this geezer!

    • “Your mother made a batch of meatballs last night. Some are for you, some are for me, but more are for me. Remember that. More. Me.”
    • “Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.”
    • “Love this Mrs. Dash. The bitch can make spices… Jesus, Joni (my mom) it’s a joke. I was making a joke! Mrs. Dash isn’t even real dammit!”
    • “The dog is not bored, it’s a fucking dog. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He’s a god damned dog.”
    • “They serve Jim Beam on airplanes. Tastes like piss. You wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, because you drink shit. I don’t.”
    • “My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday…You want to watch what? What the fuck is mad men? I’m a mad man if you don’t pick me the hell up.”
    • “It’s watering plants, Justin. You just take a God damned hose and you put it over the plant. You don’t even pay rent, just do it. Shit.”
    • (left on answering machine) “Hello? Hello? It’s Sam. Anyone there? Nobody checks this god damned thing. HELLO?! HELLO?! Screw it.”
    • “Tennessee is nice. The first time I vomited was in tennessee, I think.”
    • If your brother comes by, tell him I’m on vacation. I already told him that, but who knows with that guy. Are you listening to me? Fuck.
    • Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I’ll answer.
    • “Jesus it’s hot in here? Right? No? It’s fucking hot, you people looking at me like i’m crazy. You’re crazy.”
    • “When I used to live in Los Angeles, I used to step in human feces a lot.”