Bulbous just reported that the Gulf of Mexico temperature at Ft. Myers is 91 degrees.

Put some bratwurst and onions in your pants and wade in.

Wade out and enjoy your feast.

Just be careful, I wouldn’t allow self-serve. In that warm of water, dinkles don’t shrinkle, and balls don’t secede.

Thanks to What the Hell Are Young People Thinking?

Senior citizen discounts are bad for business for a number of reasons:

• everybody does it.

I’m not talking about the Florida eat-at-4-pm deal. I  understand how that make sense. Get the codgers in early and get them out early so the Xers with ankle-biters can move in and destroy the place.  No, I’m referring to the standard, everyday, defacto “real” price for Seniors!. . . 10% Off! Mayhaps when we are more senior, we will start shopping harder and actually seek the restaurant/liquor store/car wash that offers. . . 10% Off! As it stands now, we go to Lonestar, Toot’s, Red Lobster, etc. etc.  order what we order and at some point during the meal remember we are Senior Citizens and tell the waiter to deduct our 10% Off!

• we keep forgetting to ask and nobody volunteers the discount. This happened a lot on vacation in Boston. We would decide to take a tour, pay the price, and at later back at the hotel room, I would read in the tour book or brochure there was a Senior Citizen’s discount.

I guess this is an acquired habit: Just ask wherever we go, whatever we are doing. But would it kill the merchant to offer us a discount when we forget to ask? I have to show I.D. to buy beer at the ballpark. I wouldn’t mine showing an I.D. to get a Senior Citizen’s discount. I would feel good about that 12 year old working at Dairy Queen for having the kindness to give me a discount. I might even forego the sneer when s/he says “there ya go” instead of “thank you.”

• the Senior Citizen’s discount is usually given to people who were going to be there anyway. Kroger. Kroger has Senior Citizen’s Day the first Wednesday of every month. I guess it’s to get those Social Security check shoppers.

Nancy never shops anywhere but Kroger for groceries. Sometimes she shops on the first Wednesday of the month – and HATES it. She says the place is full of old people who don’t know how to park their cars, can’t maneuver a grocery cart, and pay by check.

• anybody can get the Senior Discount. At some places the age break is fifty-five! I have been missing out on some deals for years!

Here’s the deal business owners:

Instead of offering $9.99 entrees and skimping on portions to increase your bottom line, just stop giving away your profits to Senior Citizens. We won’t quit coming to Waffle House or Denny’s or McDonald’s or Francois’s House of Crepes & BBQ just because you stopped your discount. We don’t eat out because it’s cheap. We eat out because we are
1. too lazy to cook,
2. are social, or
3. want to look at other people, rather than the droopy eyed dogs begging at our feet.

Other hard goods merchants? Like gifts and oil changes and liquor and golfballs. . . shopping at your establishment is not a price deal, everybody price matches these days. We shop at your place because it’s a selection or service deal. We like the stuff you sell or the way you treat us. We won’t stop coming back if you keep that 10% Senior Citizen’s discount.

Senior Citizen Discounts are bad for business. But as long as it’s offered, I’m taking. I’m also asking for it every place I go.

The irony? About the only business that doesn’t offer a Senior Citizen’s discount is the medical business. Now there’s a deal worth shopping for: 10% Off!. . . MRI’s! Tuesdays Only!

Attention all companies who have a product they wish to have me rave about.
Time is running out. Get your samples and coupons for free stuff to me ASAP.
The FCC is on our trail.

the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) is considering to monitor blogs for undisclosed sponsored blog posts. According to the FTC, bloggers who don’t disclose that they received freebies once these new rules go into effect could become the target on an FTC investigation.

I just started doing pay per post, and one company says I can let you know that it is a sponsored post and another company said specifically I couldn’t let you know. (Of course the latter is in the U.K. so they care about the FCC about as much as I do.)

Yes, the same FCC that brought you government cheese for your TeeVee viewing pleasure, now wants to regulate me.

Bring it.

In the meantime, any company that want’s a free plug, like the Kush Night-time Breast Separator, should just get samples or coupons for free samples in the mail. (I hate my wrinkly cleavage, unlike these lovely boomer cleavages. – SFW)

I promise I will give you a glowing review and recommendation.

I’d prefer cash for my endorsement, $10+, but any freebie will do.  Will work for candy.

As much as those bloggers who receive these gifts would like to claim this isn’t the case, freebies like free laptops, trips, or gift cards are likely to influence a writer’s opinion of a product. We just heard from a food blogger last week who told us that she regularly receives expensive spices, books, and mail-order steaks from companies that won’t to be covered on her blog.

If somebody gave me a laptop or a Freakin’ Ford Fiesta or meat I sure as heck ain’t gonna bad mouth them! If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

As ReadWriteWeb.com said:

We also can’t help to wonder how the FTC is going to monitor the thousands of small-time bloggers who regularly receive freebies.

They can’t.

So social media experts who work for clients  sitting on all that swag, that need some quick buzz, before it’s illegal (and even afterwards)  contact me.   @goinglikesixty or goinglikesixty@gmail.com. GoingLikeSixty.com is so small as to be invisible…

Our followers, which art of heathen, hollowhead be thy name,
Thy swagdom come, thy will be done, in blogs as it is in Heaven Hill.
Give us this day our daily freebie, and forgive us our FCC excesses, as we forgive blogs who excess against us.
And lead us not in to exemption, but deliver us some pure evil,
For Sixty is the blingdom, and the power, and the hoary glory, for ever and ever.
Amen.

1. Saw the sunrise over Nashvegas International Airport – 6:15 a.m departure meant leaving home at 4:00 a.m.
2. Did a 360 on the runway at Reagan National – connecting to Boston, we started to roll for take off, slowed, did a 360 and stopped because there was bad weather in D.C.
3. Stayed in a Dee-luxe Apartment in the Sky – Hotwire.com got us a room at the Hotel Intercontinental for $125 a night, right on the waterfront, close to everything. Five stars, highly recommended. Our room overlooked the Big Dig Ventilation station, and the conversion of the former Russian Mink and Sable Wharf to condos. We didn’t care. We were never there except to crash.
4. Rode a water taxi from airport to Rowe’s Wharf. Could have gotten closer if we took the City Water Taxi, but I screwed up so we had to schlep our bags a couple of big city blocks.
5. Ate a $17 softshell crab Po’Boy from Barking Crab. What a friggin’ rip off. Go there if you must, but order a coke or beer and leave.
6. Walked most of the Freedom Trail (we ended up at Old North Church.) The first day. In the afternoon, because we arrived at noon. This was not in the plan. But once we got started we just kept moving forward. After all, the next historic site was “just in the next block.”
7. Called a friend in Texas for directions on how to find Paul Revere’s house. Gotta love cell phones with free long distance. They had just returned from Boston and the Freedom Trail.
8. Wandered around in front of Paul Revere’s house looking for Paul Revere’s house for thirty minutes. Of all the places on the Freedom Trail, this was the most poorly marked. It was closed which hid the fact that it was a signficant landmark and the sign is painted dark green, the same as the fence and is ten feet off the ground.
9. Fell for the “I see Old North Church” tourist trick. I saw the New North Church (aka St. Stephen’s) and have a dozen pictures of it. Then I consulted the map and we walked to the Old North Church.
10. Slept.
11. Realized I left our Charlie Cards at home. The Metropolitan Transport Authority (Charlie and the MTA ring a bell?) offers the Charlie card for the T. I planned ahead and ordered them online pre-loaded with $10 on each ticket. (T rides are $1.70) I guess Rhea can always use them. Or if you’re planning a vakay to BOS, give me a shout. Yours for the asking.
12. Watched Nancy hurl at Fenway Park. She has this thing about puking when we travel. I think it’s like a male dog marking his territory. We’re getting ready to enter the Press Box and she says she is going to “throw up.” I immediately looked for the bull pen, but we were closer to Broadcast Booth G, so I opened the door and we stepped inside and she hurled into the wastebasket. No pictures of the hurling, sorry.
13. Pahked the Cah at Hahvahd Yahd. We didn’t have a cah, but we did go to Harvard Square to see the home of Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe in Cambridge (0ur fair city.) Harvard University is very nice, but Notre Dame University is nicer. But you can’t help but wander among the ivy covered halls and marvel at all the very smart people that have hung out there.
14. Bought Nancy a $45 lobster at Legal Seafood. Another gigantic rip off. 1 – 1 1/4 pounder the menu said, which in translates to a quarter pound of edible meat. I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but think of the fourteen pounds of BBQ this would have purchased in KY.
15. Took drugs for burning feet pain and slept.
16. Ate Dunkin’ Donuts. Everybody was carrying around Mike’s Pastry boxes, but we only saw one Mike’s Pastry store the first day and never again. My theory? If Mike’s Pastry is so great why are people carry it around? Status symbol?
17. Found a CVS and bought a knee brace.
18. Looked for the site of the Great Molasses Flood
19. Walked to the USS Constitution. (more of the Freedom Trail) Old Ironsides is a hassle to tour. Have to pass through security tighter than airport (I had to remove my belt.) Then there was a long wait. But Wow! My favorite part of the whole deal.  I love tall ships.
20. Bought a little brass cannon and anchor souvenir. I think the cannon will hold a tiny firecracker. I intend to find out.
21. Looked up the hill known as Bunker Hill and decided we were so close… Happy Bunker Hill Day! (6/17) The monument for the Battle of Bunker Hill isn’t on Bunker Hill it’s on some other hill.
22. Climbed to the Top of the Bunker Hill Monument. I came, I saw, I perspired. It reminded me of the Jefferson Davis Monument just down the road from our house. Same design as the Washington Monument. I guess obelisks are easy to build?
23. Walk back to Old Ironsides for ferry back to Long Wharf – $1.70 to ride the ferry, 85 cents for Senior Citizens. We became Senior Citizens from then on every place we went.
24. Went into Paddy O’s Irish Pub because the sign said they had the best Chowdah (yes Boston merchants like to spell things fonnecktickly.)
25. Left Paddy O’s without ordering. I was in a pissy mood, OK?
26. Ate someplace else. Probably overpaid.
27. Took drugs for shin and feet pain. Discovered blister. Watched Lakers win. Slept.
28. Walked to Super Duck Tour trolley. Took trolley to Navy Yard to catch Ducks, were shown the real site of the Great Molasses Flood on the way. (We were close before…)
29. Duck Tour. Amphibious vehicles work better in water than land. They have no shock absorbers on land. None. When they enter the water, they go really fast. “Brace yourself!”, Brace yourself? How about “hang on for dear life?” I almost did a nose dive over the seats in front of me. Almost. Boat driver was from Maine, the most pronounced accent of anyone. Foah = four, like mailman in the play On Golden Pond. Ayah.
    
30. Watched Bag Pipe Band perform on the street. Twice. Unknown song the first time, Amazing Grace the second. Very kewl.
31. Ate at Paddy O’s. Nancy had Shepard’s Pie and I had Bangers and Mash. It was delish.
32. Told waitress that playing constant recorded country music at Paddy O’s was really stupid. Not exactly in those words, actually I was very nice about it, even though Nancy kicked me under the table. The waiter said it was the manager’s choice. What a load of cannon fodder! Especially since this was in a row of Irish Pubs and the bag pipers were playing two doors down.
33. Froze my butt. The high this day was maybe 58 degrees and cloudy and windy. I couldn’t find anything larger than XXL, which I can wear once. Friction between Nancy, in her warm sweatshirt she bought, and me kept me going.
34. Walked to No Name Restaurant. “Best seafood in Boston! Unload fresh fish below, serve it upstairs!” Great calamari, average fish platter, Red Lobster has better shrimp. Second most distinctive accent: eighty year old Greek-American waiter that could barely speak or  hear English. Nice guy, we had fun with him, the old codger probably owned the joint.
35. Took drugs for knee, shin and feet pain. Slept.
36. Took water taxi to airport – flew home via D.C. and had a great view down the mall to the capitol on approach to Reagan National. Camera in bag in overhead.
37. Happy doggies at home.

Next: What I Learned on My Summer Vacation.

UPDATE: Emptied the suitcase and found the Charlie cards.