Pick the one answer a man would give in answer to this question:
Do you want me to go get dog food?
- I’ll be going out later.
- I can get it.
- There is enough until tomorrow.
- It’s OK.
- Are you going by there?
- Do you have money?
- Yes.
Archive for the 'Food' Category
Page 2 of 23
Barry Levenson.
Mustard ree-tard.
It really doesn’t rhyme. I pronounce it Muss-turd. Not Muss-tard.
At any rate, Barry Levenson is a mustard nut.
This is Barry Levensen’s gift to the world: the Mustard Museum. It was located in Mount Horeb Wisconsin, and was going to move to a new historic building in Middleton, Wisconsin, but the building caved in.
The Mayor of Middleton announced that Mustard lovers should not fear, a new location will be announced soon.
It’s a mustard museum.
Mustard.
This is a true WTF museum.
Mustard.
There are two kinds of mustard: yellow and not yellow.
Levenson’s beloved Boston Red Sox had just lost the World Series to the New York Mets and a depressed Levenson went to an all-night grocery to wander the aisles, the museum’s Web site said.
“He turned down the condiment aisle and heard a deep resonant voice as he passed the mustards: “If you collect us, they will come.”
Levenson at that moment vowed to amass the world’s largest collection of mustards and the rest, as they say, is history.
“Mustard!” he blustered.
Flustered, he ate clustered custard.
From the Breakfast Club – John Bender: Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn, freeloading son of a bitch. Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk. (You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful.)
Shut up bitch. Go fix me a turkey pot pie.
Yeah, that’s what I should have said.
Let’s review:
Saturday: we had a little feud, and I’m pretty sure I had a milkshake for dinner.
Sunday: we were at a wedding and ate their food.
Monday: She fixed something, but neither one of us can remember what. 
Tuesday: Cinco de Mayo at Garcia’s
So, what do I want for dinner tonight? Fix me turkey pot pie… please?
I’ll make it easy on you.
Three guesses what the design team members of John Takamura and Dosun Shin, College of Design faculty members, and Tamara Christensen and Dean Bacalzo, Master of Science in Design students at Arizona State University wasted their time designing to win some stupid “breaking rules” competition.
1. Blue Man Groups latest musical instrument
2. Shrek’s Bidet
3. Yoga Toilet
Give up? I should make this a real contest but I want to embarrass the dumb asses listed above because they consider this a “transgenerational” innovation.
Read this crap…
appropriate aesthetics, design innovation, ecological responsibility and market and user benefits.
which is pure bullshit. They spent an entire semester, 15 weeks, to design this turd of a concept.
Yeah, it’s a a bunch of ca-ca all right.
#3.
The Flo™ toilet is an ergonomic, sustainable design concept for baby boomers that functions like a squat toilet. Designers maintain that using the Flo™ toilet is akin to yoga – by building and strengthening abdominal and back muscles.
Oh, yeah? Let me tell you about using a squat toilettes. Paris has a few public ones. I needed to go. I didn’t know it was a squat toilette (stoop and poop) until I had already deposited by 20 centavos, or whatever those tiny Paris/Euro coins are called.
It was a self cleaning deal. I’m inside, the door has slammed shut like Capone’s Vault and Geraldo is on the way. Then I see the hole in the floor. I’ve got a turtle head going, so there is no turning back.
Poopsocking was not an option.
I try to squat, but a thoroughly osteoarthritic knee only bendable to about 120 degrees, keeps me hovering two feet above the four inch hole.
This affliction keeps my pants well in the line of fire.
I was sure as soon as I got half-naked, to get my pants out of harm’s way, the door would rotate open and the metro would have just arrived with a bunch of Japanese school children. (French kids wouldn’t bat a beret.)
So I leaned against the wall.
Luckily these self cleaning toilets are spotless. Otherwise the floor would have been slippery, my shoes would have slid and my butt would have hit the hole with my legs splayed out in front of me.
Which actually would have been a better in the long run.
I’ll spare you the rest of the details, you’re already way ahead of my story anyway. Downtown Julie Brown would have been proud of my creation.
Lemme tell ya, if any new toilet design comes around, let it be this one.
Yeah, the one where I can make motorcycle noises and face a television screen.
Walgreens has 360 Vodka, 1.75L Bottle on sale for $19.99 – $20 rebate = ($0.01).
Limit 2 bottles per rebate/per household.
“360 Vodka is crafted from a philosophy of eco-awareness. 4x Distilled and 5x Filtered for unrivaled character. It’s the finest vodka Earth has to offer.”
Well free vodka is always the finest vodka Earth has to offer.
360 VODKA is offering a $20.00 rebate.
Nancy is heading to Hotlanta for a big knitters confab. She may make a stop to stock up, I certainly am!
