Aside from being able to buy clothes at El Cheapo Men’s Wearhouse… brands like:

• Guest?
• LaCostly
• Wankler
• Levo’s
• Eddie Bow-wower

…I loved the 4/$10 tee shirts, but HATED the upcharge of $3 a shirt for XXXL. And trying to find 42-44-almost 46 pants in anything but pleated front blah was almost impossible. … I lost a bunch of weight so I could stop paying extra for extra large sizes.

I also lost weight because I thought I could ditch the CPAP.

My friend John was successful. Hate him. He dropped about a hundred and immediately stopped snoring. He refers to the CPAP mask as “the pig nose.”

And he’s right…

I’ve worn a CPAP for a couple decades now. If I don’t, I don’t sleep. Living in the land of frequent power outages, using a CPAP blows, except when it doesn’t – because the power is out!

We have a running joke around here: when the sky is exploding because of a major storm and lightning is bouncing all around us at eye level (love living in the mountains) our power only flickers. And sometimes doesn’t do that.

But give us a nice clear evening with a nice breeze and blammo. No power.  Last night was the longest we have been without power: about two hours. Blinked off at 8 p.m. Nancy fired up her iPhone and played Words With Friends and I powered up her Nook and did a couple crossword puzzles.

Nancy eventually fell asleep, but I knew it was futile for me to try.  I grabbed my pillow and slipped outside and curled up on the porch swing.  I think I snoozed, but it wasn’t long before the power blinked to life and I slipped into my pig nose and drifted off to dreamland.

Hate having the CPAP, but hate the alternative worse.

Honolulu wants people to smell artificial while riding the city buses.

Natural scents will not be welcome – unless you have deodorant up your butt.

City Council members Rod Tam and Nestor Garcia hope to pass a bill that will ban riders with “odors that unreasonably disturb others or interfere with their use of the transit system, whether such odors arise from one’s person, clothes, articles accompanying animal or any other source.”

As Planet of the Chimps points out, it will take smell police to find the stinkers.

Inquiring minds are asking… would riders

• be expected to report the offense via a special “smell phone?”
• be required to rank the reek?
• Twitter the emitter?
• accuse the oozer?
• quench the stench (what about the French?)

By the way, have you been behind a bus lately?

This was the one where I ate and gambled my way around Albuquerque while she switched from bed to bathroom to barf.

Remember: we arrived in Albuquerque that morning before noon and it’s now 8:30 ish p.m. and we’re finally headed to the hotel.

I literally fell into bed and immediately went into a deep sleep, which didn’t last long.  I got hot, got cold, flipped and flopped, felt like if I didn’t keep moving, I would eventually be paralyzed from the aches.  Early in the morning, the first wave of barfing began.  I hurt so badly, it was all I could do to get out of bed.  Sat on the toilet with a wastebasket in my lap (sort of like hugging the porcelain throne).

In the on-deck circle is an awesome place she heaved.

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new Obama health care proposals.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of
nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, “Oh, Grow up!”

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face
on the matter….”

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the assholes in Washington.

Nancy is recovering from lifting and suppressing various parts of her internalness. She can’t lift more than a six pack, and isn’t supposed to bend over and tie my shoes.

Oh, the suffering at La Hacienda de la Deductible.

I can’t remember the last time she wrote two blog posts in a week.

Can you say Bor-ed?

Here’s the next installment of Barfing My Way Across The USA – Chapter 2 – Disney World.

We had rented a van to haul everyone – on the way there, I started to get this mysterious illness again!  Zonked out in the front seat – aware of all the conversations, but unable to contribute because it was way too much effort to move my mouth. (Those that know me, will be shocked about this, I’m sure!)

Much more at her blog, and many more chapters too.