Archive for the 'Holy Shit! Lookit This!' Category

Sunday Stealing: I Peed My Pants

Published on May 20, 2012 in Baby Boomer, Blogging, Cars, Childhood, Costa Rica, Empty Nesters, Family, Holy Shit! Lookit This!, kentucky, Random, Sunday Stealing, Technology and Writing. 0 Comments Tags: .


Sunday Stealing: The Imaginary Meme, Part One

1. Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
Full throttle empty my bladder peeing? No. Leakage? Yes. Carbonated drinks really do me in. One time I was trying to making it home from a day of kayaking and just. couldn’t. hold. it. I leaked. But I totally relieved myself in the yard. It’s good to be the guy. BTW: in Costa Rica, it is very common to see cab drivers and truckers peeing alongside the road. Very.
2. Who do you have a celebrity crush on now? I share a crush with St. Todd deCubbville on Sofia Vergara. Just looked at her website and I’ll probably be spending more time there. I also like Kim Spradlin the winner of Survivor: One World.
3. Would you date someone you met online?
No looking, but I know at least two couples my age that met online. So, yeah.
4. Do you wear underwear always?
No. You don’t want to know more, right?
5. Do you hate yourself at times?
No.
7. Do you like dirty movies?
Well, “dirty”? Raunchy, racy yes.
8. Could you believe Josha Ledet was voted off Idol?
Who? We didn’t watch one episode for the last two seasons.
9. When was the last time that you bought a car?
That would be the Dodge Magnum Station Wagon Kayak Hauler
10. Have you ever been camping?
Yes, a lot when I was a kid. We guys from the neighborhood would load up a small hay trailer and hook it to the back of the John Deere and off we would go to a local river, forest or lake.
My parents like to camp too, so we took a lot of camping vacations. As an adult, I took a hiatus because Nanc’ also camped as a kid and hated it. My last camp-out was an overnighter on the Barren River whilst kayaking.
11. How many times a day do you go on facebook?
Three.
12. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?
I Don’t Know, starring Can’t Remember and I Forget. It’s been at least two years.
13. Have you ever worried that you’d cut off a limb?
Many times. Assuming you meant a body part. I draw blood a lot when hacking the greenery.
14. Where did you get your last email from?
 65.111.175.195
15. Favorite website?
16. Are you down with ghetto?
I don’t know what that means
17. Will the world end in fire or ice?
Icy Hot
18. Do you believe in the afterlife?
No.
19. Would you be upset if facebook stopped working?
No. It would be a good thing for all of humanity.
20. How did you start your blog?
How or why? How? I use WordPress, Bluehost.com and GoDaddy.com

The Joy of Tile

Published on May 8, 2012 in Baby Boomer and Holy Shit! Lookit This!. 0 Comments

I listened to a podcast the other night about Body Integrity Identity Disorder: people who want to have a limb amputated because they think it’s cool.

I think I can identify with them.

I’m enjoying the heck out of living in a house with all tile floors and no steps up or down from one room to another.

I discovered today that if I borrow Nancy’s sewing chair (an office chair) I can wheel around Casa de Lazy and never have to walk again!

I think this will probably be a new Baby Boomer trend in home design/remodeling. Along with Big Ass Tee Vees and grab bars on the wet bar, I think Baby Boomers will all live in homes with tile or laminate floors and occupants will scoot around on motorized chairs.

Kewl.

Note: If it wasn’t for the ridges on the frame of the sliding doors, I could scoot myself outside once in a while too.

 

Beer Swilling Groupon CEO Kills Ideas: Including Torture Porn Headquarters Tour and More

Published on April 27, 2012 in Entertainment, Holy Shit! Lookit This! and Money. 0 Comments Tags: .

Groupon CEO Andrew Mason was swilling beer from a bottle while at a meeting chastising his top employees about how childish they were.

The Wall Street Journal reported that the 31-year-old CEO said the company doesn’t “have any margin for error,”

Near the verge of tears because he had chugged to much PBR, Mason plowed ahead to motivate his staff to find better deals with better financial controls and better profit margins.

The SEC is probing Groupon because of book-cooking and other frat-boy shenanigans.

Meanwhile, out in the field, the Groupon Chicks were having a ball (maybe literally) lining up tours of Kink.com, a torture porn filmmaker.

“Groupon even advertises that groups may get to see a live filming in progress,”

according to an anti-porn group.

Groupon told the War on Illegal Porngraphy

“we strive to offer interesting and exciting deals that will appeal to our diverse customer base.”

Because of the backlash to the torture porn tour, Groupon is considering the merits of the following offers for their diverse customer base:

  • Tour Mother Mary Magdalene’s OB-GYN clinic.  Spend a day with the retired Sisters. You may get to see an actual pap smear done on a seventy five year old virgin!
  • Nose hair trimmer for a day at Cadaver King of Cleveland. Because hair continues to grow after death you can enjoy a variety of noses and hair and trimming. Get creative!
  • Backstage with The Fluffer.
  • Pre-op Pus Inspector at Burning Man. You will hang with some of the most diverse groupies ever to have assembled. It will be colorful!
  • Post-op Scab Scanner at Flame Throwers R Us. You will help management determine if the scabs were actually on the job incidents. Snacks of chips and salsa will be served all day!
  • Crime Scene Cleaner for the Detroit Police Department, Detroit River Division. Bodies are plucked from the Detroit River almost daily. You can watch as the bloated bodies inflate right before your eyes. Swell time!
  • Colonoscopy Intern. Batches of baby boomers bring their backsides to the Boston Bean Center where you lube up and probe as many bums as you can!

This “historic” tours follow the Groupon Kink.com new marketing plan outlined here:

In the immortal words of Vanessa Pinto…
The Armory is a historical building that people are fascinated with. Human beings are curious about all sorts of things they find odd or interesting. Tours are offered of Hearst Castle, Winchester Mystery House, and Alcatraz, and no one bats an eyelash. The Armory is a very old building with a rich history that people are fascinated with. Add to that, it was bought by kink.com, the home of BDSM porn, and of course people are going to want to take a tour.

And Groupon.com will be there to make it profitable for shareholders.

Bring Beer!

Why Are Japanese Toilets So Much More Fun?

Published on April 26, 2012 in Holy Shit! Lookit This!, Research and Technology. 0 Comments Tags: .

OK, Kohler has a very cool bathtub: the VibrAcoustic tub mashes up your tunes and makes waves while you soak. But c’mon… for fun, how can you beat the Japanese? These toilets sing, dance and even enable you to get interactive; turning the usually mundane task of relieving one’s self into an experience you want to share with the world.

Featured below are some of the most imaginative and awe inspiring johns in the world; all based in one country.

Getting Lippy

A fine example of how the Japanese never shy away from a good bit of toilet humour. These are the men’s urinals (unfortunately the women weren’t given an option quite as fun as this) and they’re certainly wee eye catching!

Holy Moly

If you’re the kind of person who feels guilty about the notion of peeing in public, then this set of enlightening urinals won’t help to take the pressure off. It does, however, make the experience a little more spiritual though – but we’re not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing in this context.

Robo-Pee

The Japanese nightclub, where this toilet is situated, plays off the country’s penchant for being technologically advanced. (Un)fortunately, the promising looking robotic arms and camera are fake, but the sheer imagination makes up for the defunct mechanics. The question is though; if it was real… would you trust it? The answer: No freaking way.

Creepy Clown


You’ll probably be wetting yourself out of fear after using this toilet. The creepy clown urinal actually has the nerve to bounce up and down, and even sing whilst you do your business – not for those who are prone to stage fright. This toilet (unsurprisingly) has actually become quite a tourist attraction in Japan – just a shame for the ladies, who’ll never actually get to marvel at this feat in technology.

Sega-fun

For the vast majority who get nostalgic about the retro video games of their youth, this toilet will bring back fine memories. Simply dubbed the ‘Toylet’, you control the character on the screen by aiming for the target located in the urinal – a highly addictive, yet brief, gaming experience. It’s hard to figure out whether this toilet encourages further drinking or building up bladder strength; as you’ll want to save up for every trip in order to beat the top scorer.

Super lazy boy

Ever feel a bit lazy? Too lazy to even put the toilet seat down? Well in Japan this issue isn’t a problem. The toilet featured in this video is actually pretty standard for many of the higher end hotels and, as you can expect, do all the hard work for you. Aside from the peeing bit, you won’t have to lift a finger.

And of course, women who want to use a urinal always have the options of choosing Stand2Pee.com.

This list of tomorrows toilets was compiled by the tech heads at Ladbrokes Bingo.

 

Nazareth Cascante Madrigal is the Miss Costa Rica 2012

Published on April 14, 2012 in Costa Rica and Holy Shit! Lookit This!. 0 Comments Tags: .

Dinner last night ended up on a high note.

We tried a new place El Mirador and because they had outside seating with a great view of the twinkling lights and stars, we sat there.

Little did us guys know that inside on the BATV (Big Ass Tee Vee) the Miss Costa Rica pageant was being televised.

Nazareth Cascante Madrigal

is the new Miss Costa Rica 2012.

We were in the car getting ready to leave and Tom said he wanted to mark the restaurant on his GPS so he could find it again. Mirador in spanish means lookout or observatory or something like that. So the restaurant had all glass walls. Tom had stopped the car where I had a great view of the television and the pageant.

I didn’t mind waiting and told him so.

As I watched intently to see if I could catch the talent contest, the young women (This year’s Miss Costa Rica pageant was notable for having three practicing professionals among the ten finalists, two architects and one psychologist) were parading around in bikinis.

I have to hand it to the camera operators. There is no political correctness with them. First shot was head and shoulders. Second shot was a full body pan from toes to head. Third camera shot was thighs to navel.

Like this.

 

You’re welcome.

Except the bikini bottoms were much more colorful. I searched Google for hours and hours to bring you an accurate version, even hoping to find the exact bikini Nazareth wore in the competition, but I was unsuccessful. I will keep trying however and if successful I will update the above photo.

The last shot was a close up of the face.

She has a pretty face.

I will be rooting for Nazareth in the Miss Universe Pageant. Hopefully she won’t get beaten by the guy.