Archive for the 'Politics' Category

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Attention Birthers: I Am Kenyan. Other Moments of “Duh”

Published on August 6, 2009 in Baby Boomer, Birthdays, Childhood, Entertainment and Politics. 1 Comment Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

I knew it wouldn’t take long for Dou Lobbs to take after me, the old buzzard. To avoid further controversy about my birthplace, I am publishing – for the first time – my Kenyan birth certificate to keep the birthers at bay.

You will have to click to enlarge to read the faded document – after all Kenyan birther certificates aren’t printed on the best paper. The typewriter used to fill out by Kenyan birther document needed a new ribbon too.

Remember that? Changing typewriter ribbons? Before cartridges? Fingers would get all smudged with ink and you itch your face and walk around all day and nobody tells you “there is a black smudge on your face.” Or what that just me?
kenyanbirthcertificate
(clickify to explode)

Here are some other moments of “duh”:

  • Forbes says Air Force Academy top school: Duh. Takes a congressional appointment, you can’t drink or do drugs, no long hair,guaranteed a job afterwards, and eventually you are a General.
  • Brad Pitt says “No” to Angelina: Duh. He has the perfect reason. He tells Angie, if gays can’t marry, then I won’t marry you. It’s the activist/protest avoidance.
  • Big party when Paula Abdul said she wasn’t returning: Duh. She’s a star. They aren’t. It’s just jealousy. Paula will be have regular weekly appearances on Dancing With The Stars, Survivor, The View, Jon & Kate + 9, and Sponge Bob.
  • Lots o’ Rumors on Paula’s replacement: Duh. There is Kirstie Alley and moi at the top, then Diana Ross, Victoria Beckham, Natalie Cole, Allee Willis, Mrs. Butterworth and Rosanne auditioning in case Kirstie and I can’t make the deal.

60 Out

We Are Ready for the President Palin Nuclear War

Published on August 2, 2009 in Health and Politics. 1 Comment Tags: , , , , .

Thinking people have already figured out the United States is doomed.

Our health care system will collapse, we will will run out of paper to print more money because  inflation will rival Zimbabwe and all Hawaiian citizenship papers will be revoked.

President Palin will start throwing around Nukes just to keep us preoccupied.

I’m not sure which Palin will be President.

Sarah and Todd have pretty much screwed themselves (and apparently more than a few others.) So I’m guessing it will be Trigg.

(((Hugs))) will be his campaign slogan.

As soon as President Palin starts lobbing Nukes, we’re prepared. Nancy picked this up the other day:

tecnu

Conan Interprets Sarah Palin: Shatner Delivers

Published on July 28, 2009 in Baby Boomer, Blogging, Education, Entertainment and Politics. 1 Comment Tags: , , , .

Sarah Palin is a poet.
She don’t know it,
her feet don’t show it.
But they sure are Longfellows.

(How old IS that ditty?)

Here is William Shatner delivering Sarah Palin’s speech in poetic mode as dictated by Conan.

…soaring through nature’s finest show.
Denali, the great one, soaring under the midnight sun.
And then the extremes. In the winter time it’s the frozen road
that is competing with the view of ice fogged frigid beauty,
the cold though, doesn’t it split the Cheechakos from the Sourdoughs?
And then in the summertime such extreme
summertime
about a hundred and fifty degrees hotter
than just some months ago, than just some months from now,
with fireweed blooming along the frost heaves and merciless rivers that are rushing and carving and reminding us that here,
Mother Nature wins. It is as throughout all Alaska that big wild good life
teeming along the road that is north to the future.

President Obama Apologizes, is a Class Act.

Published on July 24, 2009 in Politics. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Even though I agree that the cops in Boston acted “stupidly,” I don’t know all the facts.

I think all parties acted stupidly.

BUT: Obama apologized. The cop didn’t, yet. I hope he does. And I hope Gates does too.

And then, as President Obama said, this can be a “teachable moment.”

And then he invited everybody involved to have a beer.

Class.

President Obama today backpedaled from his comment that the Massachusetts police who arrested Henry Louis Gates Jr. “acted stupidly,” the New York Times reports. In an unannounced appearance at the daily White House briefing, Obama said he “could have calibrated” his words more carefully in speaking on the incident, adding that he’d expressed his regrets in a call to Sgt. James Crowley earlier today. The call ended with the suggestion that he, Crowley and Gates, a renowned black scholar, grab a beer sometime at the White House, the president said. Obama said the arrest and surrounding media frenzy had pulled attention away from health reform, but that he hoped the case can be looked at as a “teachable moment” for improving relations between police and minorities.

U.S. Internet Connectivity is Pathetic

Published on July 23, 2009 in Entertainment, kentucky, Money, Politics, Research and Technology. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , .

speed

I just ran a speed test on how well I am connected to the internet.

Better than my cousin-sister in Hazard, KY, and better than my daddy-uncle in Pikeville, KY, but 1/2 the speed of my friend Elin Woods, in Sweden, and 1/12 the speed of my long-lost friend Danny Choo in Japan.

Right now the government is deciding the future of the Internet in the United States.

The Federal Communications Commission is crafting our national high speed internet strategy, which will determine how fast the Internet is and who has access to high speed connections.

Help shape this policy in just two minutes.

Take this Speed Test, and help  update data and help make universal broadband a reality.

Take the Speed Test now:

http://www.speedmatters.org/speedtest2009

Then fill in the form to send a letter to your feral (no typo – little or no contact with real people) representatives. I personalized my letter because Speedmatters.org was just too nice in their letter.

The United States ranks just 15th among industrialized nations in broadband access — and this is costing our economy billions of dollars every year.

Every day, American businesses are missing out on opportunities to sell their goods and services in the global marketplace. Every day, the American people are missing out on important health and educational benefits. And every day, the American economy is missing out on good jobs created by high speed internet access.

That’s because the U.S. has historically invested relatively less on telecommunications than most other major countries. Consumers are charged more for slower speeds, and our current high-speed networks don’t even reach millions of American households.

Like Bubba-Louise, my cousin-sister in Hazard can’t even watch Keyboard Cat, because it won’t download.
H/she needs to see this stuff: