Tag Archive for 'cotton picker'

Investment Tip: Cotton and F Dollars

Published on September 10, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Our cotton crop is coming it right at the peak of the market. TRA-LA, TRA-LA, TRA-LA!

From CNN this morning…

Cotton prices have nearly doubled this year, hitting a near 15-year high following a chain of events among major Asian cotton producers that has choked off global supply.

And our stash of F Dollars is growing at a steady pace.

First, the cotton crop:
It wasn’t easy getting Nancy to be a cotton-picker. Oh sure it was fun to plant the seeds and watch them grow. And she was busting with pride as her first boll of cotton bloomed with the fluffy whiteness.

But she didn’t start cotton-picking without me laying a serious guilt-trip on her.

It hasn’t rained much this summer (TRA-LA), but last night as we lay in bed, there was just a few raindrops starting to fall.

“Did you harvest the cotton” I asked.

“No.”

I reached to the nightstand and handed her the Big Ass Search and Rescue Double D Flashlight. (BASRDDF)

*sigh*

I put the flashlight back on the nightstand quietly.

“OK, I’ll go cotton-pickin’ “

She returned with our entire yield (to date) in the palm of her hand. She took it to her “knittin’ bitches” group at Panera Bread this morning, and is on her way to her favorite yarn shop and Alpaca factory.

It rained throughout the night and will rain all day today (Hurricane Hermine visits Smallburg, Details at 6:00 from Live in Fear Doppler…

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Were it not for her cotton-pickin’ our crop would have shrunk or possibly been entirely wiped out – at the PEAK OF THE MARKET.

*whew*

F Dollars:
I don’t have a clue why and she isn’t saying, but Nancy is hoarding F dollar bills. I’m pretty sure there is a hidden motive here. I hope she has inside information at the Federal Bureau of Printing Money about the F dollar being discontinued.

Who cares if one of my investments was declared “worthless” today.

Cotton and F Dollars.

So far our banana tree isn’t adding value to our agricultural portfolio. I guess banana trees are Mother Nature’s Ponzi: huge growth for a short time and then it dies.

Wonder how an Alpaca would do with the rest of the menagerie?

Next year: I’m planting some burley for cigars. And then hemp for rope (as far as you know) and soon we will be into the Meth … be still my heart.

TRA-LA, TRA-LA, TRA-LA.

Is Calling Someone a ‘Cotton Picker’ Racist?

Published on April 15, 2010 in Baby Boomer. 2 Comments Tags: , .

My brother used to call me a “cotton picker” all the while we were growing up together in the 50s. I figured there were a lot worse names to be called.

Since we lived in Michigan, it probably had a different connotation than if we were growing up in Kentucky. My parents weren’t racists so they wouldn’t have allowed it to continue – if they even gave it a thought.

This isn’t really important and I didn’t give it a thought until it seems that in the near future, I will actually BE a cotton picker.

Our Texas friends decided that we needed to get into the cotton business and sent Nancy the seeds. She has a great crop started. I will be tilling up  the back 40 (square inches) soon to transplant the cotton. The ground temperature isn’t quite warm enough yet.

This is one of those events in a geezer’s life that we get excited about.

Cotton growing.

Woooo hooooo.

Bird watching.

OMG can we handle the thrills?

It’s our start in agriculture that I foresee progressing this way:

  1. cotton
  2. tobacco
  3. pot

Chicki, Nancy’s golfin’ buddy, suggested that we just start with the pot. I told her that probably wouldn’t work because we would see the profits go up in smoke.

And I will be applying for a government grant (free money that falls from the sky like a giant fireball.)

Along the same lines is Judas Priest sacrilegious? I used this in place of Jesus Christ all through high school and college. The band Judas Preist didn’t come along until 1969.  So I sure don’t know where I picked up using it in the early 60s.

And why doesn’t Judas Priest have an apostrophe?