Tag Archive for 'president'

Den-ny, Den-ny, Den-ny! Denny Crane for President

Published on May 14, 2008 in Baby Boomer and Entertainment. 4 Comments Tags: , , .

Denny Crane announces tonight whether he will run for President of the United States of America.

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  • “I realized the truth about myself. I just love power.”
  • “Ban red meat! That cannot pass constitutional mustard.
  • “You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter lets him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says ‘Who’s that?’ St. Peter says, ‘Oh, that’s God. Thinks he’s Denny Crane.”
  • “You Democrats! Protesting wars, banning guns! If you Nancys had your way nobody would ever shoot anybody. And then where would we be?”
  • “The current president of the United States is George Walker Bush, son to George Herbert Walker Bush, whose father was the late United States Senator Prescott Bush, who, as an undergraduate at Yale, once wrestled my father in the nude. But that’s a story for another day. Let’s stick to the issues at hand.”
  • Peace talks are soft. We don’t do soft. My nipples… Where the hell is Bosnia?
  • “Massachusetts is a Blue State. God has no place here”
  • “You’re one of those environmental lawyers?…They’re evildoers. Yesterday it’s a tree, today it’s a salmon, tomorrow it’s, ‘Let’s not dig up Alaska for oil because it’s too pretty.’ Let me tell you something, I came out here to enjoy nature, don’t talk to me about the environment.”

Denny Crane for President 2008…

“America needs a decisive, aggressive, perhaps even slightly deranged, man of vision to straighten out Washington – not just another politician. We need a candidate who can enliven the electorate in 2008 with a serious non-partisan political agenda. Denny Crane loves women, whiskey and cigars. Denny Crane is annoyed by criminals and poor people. Isn’t Denny Crane right for you? Isn’t Denny Crane right for America???”

No Question: We’re Smarter Than the Next President.

Published on February 4, 2008 in Blogging, Health, M & Ms and Technology. 8 Comments Tags: , , , , .

I wonder if the next president will know as much about the internet as I do. Or for that matter, will the next president know as much as you?

I doubt it.

We’re pretty web savvy.

Here’s why we will be smarter than the next president when it comes to web junk.

We don’t have a staff. Specifically:

  • Obviously we blog, we read blogs. Some of you have been blogging for a long time. Probably since the word was coined. I had the benefit of a mentor who started early and was successful. He gave me encouragement and also guided me toward WordPress.
  • Because we blog, we have expressed our thoughts and heard a complete stranger’s reaction.
  • We email a lot. We started emailing a long, long time ago. We know about attachments, and bcc’s and forwarding, and reply to all. Some of us IM regularly.
  • We have seen Myspace.com and Facebook.com. Some of us messed around with them and still are or have decided we’ve seen enough.
  • We know about flames and trolls. We can be snarky.
  • We’ve seen a lot of video online. Some of it by professionals, most of it by amateurs.
  • We use Google ™ search engine – some of us a LOT. We know that we can access news, video, blogs, and images.
  • We know how Google ads work.

Is there a point in all this braggadocio? Well, surprisingly, yes. A survey was taken…

They were asked” “Do you think that the next President will know as much about the Internet as you?” Almost 45 percent said, yes, and they should because of the importance of the Internet. And, 22 percent, didn’t think the candidates would be as savvy of them, but wished that they would be. Not surprisingly, 38 percent of 18-29 year-olds don’t think the candidates know as much as them, but wish that they would.

I’m hoping that the next president will recognize his or her significant shortcomings and (gawd I can’t believe I’m going to write this) form a cabinet level position to advise the president on the web.

The web plays a vital part of every part of government. Every existing cabinet level department has been dramatically affected by the web. To form a new department requires some smart people. Here’s a good place to start:

The Advisory Committee shares the goals of the Congressional Internet Caucus — a bi-partisan group of over 170 members of the House and Senate working to educate their colleagues about the promise and potential of the Internet.

I’m not holding my breath.

UPDATE: Read another thought along the same lines, by somebody that knows what they are talking about.

UPDATE: Angelina Jolie is an idiot. (whiny voice) “As Brad knows I don’t know how to turn on a computer.”