Dennis Hopper’s beach commercial ( I don’t even remember who it’s advertising) is only the latest in a long line of advertising about retirement I really dislike.

Ok, I’m not their target audience, but they still hack me off.

I won’t be able to retire.  I will HAVE to (not choose to) work.

I tossed a consumer finance magazine across the room – I really was aiming for the recycle pile (kinda) because of one of those stupid articles that offer the same lame advice about saving for retirement: max out 401k, invest in equities, eliminate credit card debt, blah blah blah.

Oh, get this character’s advice – Walter Updegreave – about a couple that have NO savings but want to retire in 10 years.  He actually gives them advice that might lead them to think it’s possible.  Here’s my  two word advice: FORGET RETIREMENT.

Here’s another jewel: Start Late, Retire Rich.  My three word advice: BUY LOTTERY TICKETS.

If I had the guts to lay out my financial situation for the whole world to see, I’d challenge them. Think this would sell magazines?  RETIREMENT IS HOPELESS FOR THIS BOOMER.