“Nine one one, what is your emergency?”

“My husband is going to have a heart attack and other guy a stroke.”

911: “one man had a stroke and other a heart attack?”

wife: “no not yet, but the shape they are in, it’s going to happen soon.”

911: “ma’am, before we can dispatch assistance, I need more information”

wife: “OK, my husband is almost 60 and overweight with hypertension and another guy that is probably in the same shape are yelling at each other.”

911: “ma’am, where are they?

wife: “on the golf course.”

911: “thank you, this is a common place for this type of call to originate. Shall I dispatch the police or an ambulance?”

wife: “never mind, the greenskeeper hosed them down and they are cooled off now.”

911: “you poor woman, have you thought about teaching your husband bunco?”