Practice with Anything but Dog Turds!
This Irish “senior” says he is sane, and even has a note from his psychiatrist to prove it. But his golfing practice gives me serious pause about his claim.
I’m an ordinary bloke. I’m sane. I even have a certificate from my psychiatrist to prove it. He says I am making great progress.
He needed to try out his new golf clubs, but didn’t have any practice balls. He tried pine cones and they worked pretty well – even to the point that he was able to hit one through the door of a passing tourist bus! (I love that!)
But he realized they were not aerodynamic so they tended to curve. So he searched for alternatives and decided on petrified dog turds. His target was his neighbors house.
If anyone is interested, dog turds are much more aerodynamic than pine cones. I could aim straight and true. The neighbours extension now bears a remarkable resemblance to a large Jackson Pollock. It looks a lot better. As long as the wind doesn’t blow from that direction.
Be sure to read the whole post and follow the link to an earlier post about golf.
I have hit pine cones, but the remnant pine tar on the club face is a problem, but not as much as a problem as remnant doggie doo.
See if you don’t agree that the guy is certifiable.
“See if you don’t agree that the guy is certifiable”
I, for one don’t agree?!
What’s wrong with dog turds? Would you rather I go belting golf balls around the neighbourhood? They’re dangerous things, you know [golf balls, not neighbourhoods]?
Frankly, I’d rather be hit on the head with a poo than a golf ball.
There is method in my madness 😉
LOL, you sire are a politician. “I ask you my fellow citizens, would you rather get hit with a turd or a golf ball?
LOL, thanks for writing.
Hmmmm. would I rather get hit with a turd or a golf ball? Well as I see, either way you’re gonna get knocked out.
True: lose / lose but I would rather tell the emergency room it was a golf ball!
But Grandad would have an appropriately preposterous story behind the “accident” I’m sure.