- Cow Pregnancy Tester – A farmer or vet sticks his hand up “there” and can tell. I never asked the details and don’t want to know.
- Asphalt screeder – These would be the guys that walk behind trucks and smooth out the asphalt so the roller can pack it down. You can’t lay asphalt when it’s cold, so it’s always hot. And really, really, gooey. It’s not my fault, is the asphalt. (groan)
- Funeral home maker upper – Not that I mind dead people, some deserve to be that way. But you’ve been at a funeral and somebody says “they don’t look good,” or “that’s not natural looking.” Do I have to go further?
- Rendering plant dock worker – you know those cows that don’t get pregnant anymore? Or the race horses that finish eighth a lot? They end up being turned into all kinds of stuff. The first stop is the rendering plant, and they aren’t alive when they get there. So you got a truck full of bloated animals that have to get into the system to be skinned, de-gutified, etc.
UPDATE: Bookie – obviously I can’t count.