Today I Shall Imitate My Fictional Hero
Hetero-horndog, Denny Crane!
I got a free sample in the mail of a Carlos ToranO see-gar. I shall move my recliner to the front porch – yee haw – and poor myself three fingers of Maker’s Mark bourbon, light up this finely rolled beauty and survey the street and neighbor’s side yard.
I will wax poetically to my imaginary friend, Alan, about the pitfalls of life and what can be done to avoid them or at least enjoy them. He will ask me about a sleepover and I will decline.
I will then yank the curtain aside and see that my Wizard of Denny Crane is actually Groucho.
I’ll also probably be so lightheaded from the see-gar I’ll have to lie down.
Denny Crane.