Bill Gates and Michael Dell and I are in a fight to the finish.
Dell sold me one of his computers. We were off-line and dyin’ (oh, good song parody, make note.) so I got us back online as quickly as possible. After we checked email, I started the updates running.
Dell sold me a brand new computer that needed 41 updates to Gates operating system. Most of them were serious security updates.
WHAT THE HELL? It’s a new computer right out of the box!
I should mention that I bought a XP system to avoid the crap that Gates call Vista. XP has been around for years and it still ships needing major upgrades.
I started the updates running and went to bed, and slept like a baby. After all, I don’t sell crap to people and still have a 95% market share.
Got up and updates had not installed.
So I wrote to my new friend Barbara (actually Pataritida) for help. After a couple days she sent me a two page single spaced email to help me fix my problem.
I have tried step one and it didn’t work.
Oh, there’s the bell for round two: Gates has taken his glasses off for this round, and Dell is standing behind him whimpering. I think I will throw my old mouse and keyboard at them and see what happens.
UPDATE: I’m hurt. Barbara may have to carry the next round. Dell did a Duo Core processor move followed by a See Colon Backslash by Gates. I was able to run while Barbara kept them from finishing me off.
Of course they had me disable my protection, so this next round may be interesting.
UPDATE: We won by a technical knock out. Barbara was wonderful. She knew a Windows Update Agent 30-86x who did what she called a front slash wu-force. She called for a restart and that did them in.
I couldn’t have done it with out her.
I’m exhausted, I think I’ll watch some Teletubbies.
UPDATE: The guy that ran Dell into the toilet is doing OK.
$48.5 million for stock options he earned while at the company. The odd part about the deal is that, according to The Wall Street Journal, the “cash payment program [will] include expired options.” That is, options that he no longer has any rights to.