If you want to improve your self esteem, don’t do these seven things:

1. Self deprecation – when you make a joke at your expense
2. Self depreciation – when you choose to be unhealthy
3. Self defecation – when you are a dumb shit
4. Self denigration – when you tell someone else what a jerk you are
5. Self defamation – when you call yourself names aloud
6. Self debilitation – when you drink to much
7. Self disintegration – when you die

To elaborate:

Just the other day I said:

I’m so ugly I had to walk into a bar by myself. The bartender said why the long face and I said because I’m a horse. I told him I also was a horse’s ass and never pay my bar bills. “What an asshat I am,” I muttered. After the tenth beverage, I died.

Why aren’t there any good blogger/blogging jokes?