Old Man’s Revenge
Based on Joy of Six Grandma’s revenge.
When I’m an old man, I’ll live with each child,
and bring so much crap it will have to be piled.
I want to pay them back for the stuff that they took,
When they left home and made me a schnook.
(When I’m an old man and live with my kids.)
I’ll take the car and and never ask,
Returning it later plumb out of gas.
I’ll drink their cheap beer and also the best liquor
I’ll pretend I don’t hear and oh how we’ll bicker.
(When I’m an old man and live with my kids.)
I’ll be on their cell calling my bookie
Betting long shots on a horse named Rookie
Oh, they will threaten with might and even cajole
And I’ll ignore them and go for a long stroll
(When I’m an old man and live with my kids.)
I’ll fire up the microwave and feed the cats
What she said was there just for the brats.
I’ll leave the foil on, watch the oven ignite,
and light my cigar by the flames so bright.
(When I’m an old man and live with my kids.)
I’ll run up the cable bills watch pay per view porn.
but fall asleep before the first sperm is born.
I’ll take out my teeth and let them soak,
’til the water is brown like a fine old oak.
(When I’m and old man and live with my kids.)
And later at night, when I’m prowling about,
I’ll probably stumble and knock myself out.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
and say with a groan, “he’s so sweet when he’s sleeping!”