I’ve applied to be Branch Manager (my official title will change to Supreme Commander of the Arkansas Forces) at the Pine Bluff, Arkansas branch of Dunder Mifflin.
Your invited to join my team. In addition to the requirements defined by the company, I have my own high standards:
- You must not be ugly if you are female
- Your car must not be better than mine if you are male
- Tell great Polish jokes
- Diversity is encouraged – except when it comes to opinions
- The older the better – up to age 60
- Other qualifications will be unannounced so that I can judge you.
- Overseas applicants can work from home, as long as you don’t bother me when I’m home
- You don’t need to be brain damaged to work here, but it helps.
- Find the mistake in the headline
Join me at the Pine Bluff branch – use our special code (also my home security code) when you apply. 8bzaod6qg4.
Blarty’s every Friday. Chocolate always. We’ll all write Blooks. Free day care – spouses included. Cussing only allowed for just cause. Republicans tolerated. Hippies encouraged. Okies maybe. Pints when it rains. Propeller heads welcome. We need a Safety Supervisor for Violence in the Workplace and an excellent receptionist/marketing.
Hopefully these will be your co-workers.
- Aging Hipsters
- Baby Boomer Bev
- Baby Boomer Queen
- Blogging for Boomers
- Blooking Central
- Catch Her in the Wry
- Dairy: Middle Aged White Guy
- Dancing in Tongues
- Erin Brockovich
- Head Rambles
- Hey Sunshine
- Incurable Insomniac
- Joy of Six
- Kays Thinking Cap
- Ken Jennings
- Mark Cuban
- Mushys Moochings
- My Rearview Mirror
- Over the Boom
- Redneck Diva
- Suburban Hippie
- The Boomer Chronicles
- The Rearview Mirror
- The Savvy Boomer
- Violent Acres