From StephaniesPlace this meme looked like fun. She said I could take it if I wanted.

1. What kind of SOAP is in your bathtub right now?

None, we take showers only, the whirlpool tub is too big and our water heater is too small so we don’t use it. In the shower is body wash, no soap.

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator?

It’s October. No. (Same answer as Stephanie)

3. What would you change about your living room?

Either less furniture or bigger room. Doesn’t help that everything reclines – even the sofa

4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty?

Don’t know until I look and I’m busy now.

5. What is in your fridge?

From memory: Coke, Pepsi, Beer, Milk, grape jelly, lots of cheeses including Laughing Cow and bags of shredded Mozerrela, Colby, Monterey Jack, slices of American. Two packages of ham slices that are bulging, some hot dogs, ham and cheese slices, flimsy lettuce, flimsy celery, worchestessherchireshire (whatever) tabasco, yellow mustard, brown mustard, catsup. (Wow I do stare at the fridge a lot!) Horseradish sauce, marmelade, bbq brisket (gotta eat that before it goes bad) salsa, chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, stick margarine, tub margarine. That’s all I can recall, I know the door has a bunch of stuff, but I don’t know what it is.

6. White or wheat bread?

White

7. What is on top of your refrigerator?

Paper plate holders and a plastic tray.

8. What color or design is on your shower curtain?

Black in one bathroom, mauve in another. Shower door in master bath.

9. How many plants are in your home?

Two, catcus and some other one.

10. Is your bed made right now?

No. Do people still really make the bed? Except for when company comes over (like my in-laws or something), why? It’s just going to get un-made in less than 12 hours. I could conquer the world in the time I would spend making my bed every day. I’ll have to get to work on that. (same answer as Stephanie)

11. Comet or Soft Scrub?

For what? We got a thousand bottles of spray cleaners. Oh wait – it’s the green one. Comet?

12. Is your closet organized?

Mine? Yes. Hers? I don’t go there.

13. Can you describe your flashlight?

It’s really cool. It’s a small LED light – about the size of a D battery that puts out the neat blue light. We also have a CSI flashlight – you have to hold it like a CSI person!

14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home?

Aluminum – can. Or plastic bottle, or plastic tumbler if I want ice.

15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now?

No.

16. If you have a garage, is it cluttered?

Yes, but I’m working on it. I am on the “one year” plan – if I haven’t used it in a year, out it goes.

17. Curtains or blinds?

Both. Venetian blinds and curtains.

18. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One.

19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night?

No. But we like to “black” the TV and set the sleep timer and fall asleep to Letterman.

20. How often do you vacuum?

Some woman does once a week as far as I know.

21. Standard toothbrush or electric?

Electric

22. What color is your toothbrush?

Blue and white

23. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch?

Yes. “This house was clean, sorry you missed it.”

24. What is in your oven right now?

Racks

25. Is there anything under your bed?

Those under bed storage thingies and probably some dog toys, socks, dust buffaloes, who looks under their bed anyway?

26. Chore you hate doing the most?

Mowing.

27. What retro items are in your home?

Melamine record player – it’s not melamine, it’s that other retro plastic from the ’50’s. I forget. Leisure suit.

28. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office?

Yes. But I don’t know if I’d really call it an office as much as I would call it a room that holds the 8,000,000 pieces of paper we deal with every month… and the computer. (same answer as Stephanie – see it here.) I would add: 4 dozen photo albums, some bolts of cloth, books, a bookshelf with miscellaneous cords to God knows what, a rack of CD’s, a bunch of DVD’s, globe, oh never mind.

Yes.

29. How many mirrors are in your home?

I gonna guess four

30. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home?

Yes, twenties!

31. What color are your walls?

Beige, yellow, brick, gray, and I forget what they are in the rooms I don’t go in.

32. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home?

No. Yes, an Uzi and RPG for you burglars reading this.

33. What does your home smell like right now?

Air.

34. Favorite candle scent?

Chocolate Chip Cookies

35. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now?

Oh yeah, on the door, relish, dill chips, dill slices, and Kosher dills.

36. What color is your favorite Bible?

Favorite Bible? Did they release a new one? Maybe you are counting the LOLcats translation. Black.

37. Ever been on your roof?

Yes

38. Do you own a stereo?

Car, with Bose speakers. BOOM!

39. How many TVs do you have?

Seven.

40. How many house phones?

Two

41. Do you have a housekeeper?

Once a week, she spends a couple hours here.

42. What style do you decorate in?

Vacation kitsch

43. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints?

Yes.

44. Is there a smoke detector in your home?

Yes, and a carbon dioxide detector too.

45. In case of fire, what are the items in your house which you’d grab if you only could make one quick trip?

We have a fireproof safe with the important docs and extra credit cards. If the fire was in one end of the house, I’d be at the other shoveling “stuff” out the windows as fast as I could.

Bonus Question #1 (I’m adding this feature.)

What is your favorite candy?