I wrote earlier that our favorite red wine is from Indiana. SuburbanHippie was slightly aghast since she is from California and just assumed all good wine came from California. I don’t know how the experts would classify Oliver Red, because I don’t know what they are talking about when they discuss wine.
I was listening to a syndicated radio program yesterday, don’t even know what the name of it was, except they were broadcasting from Disneyland. They were describing different wines in a language that is foriegn to me, but it was English.
BTW: they said we haven’t had a bad vintage year since 1990 and that 2007 would be a very good vintage. Buy now! (Warning, if you invest in wine, your cork may shrink and fall out and you may lose money.)
I decided that I would offer my opinion on a variety of wines:
- Unnatural but equally underdone Rose. Reminiscent of cottage cheese, hoppy beef jerky and bashful pungent spore. Drink quickly.
- Crisp and wicked Chenin Blanc. Forcefully bites you with cactus, arcane cheap gin and bashful ketchup. Drink now through a date to be announced later.
- Modest and freakishly evil Dessert wine. Opens with lamb shank, sweet melted crayon and scant gasoline. Drink now through April.
- Unimpressive and middle-aged Rose. Displays buttermilk pancakes, understated hot dog water and a modicum of dishwater. Drink now and forever hold your peace.
- Chunky but equally yellowed Chardonnay. Essences of pulpy orange juice, unripe Mars bar and bashful burnt rubber. Drink through a bendy straw.
- Good but equally sugary Zinfandel. Spews rancid pork, underdone C-ration and traces of bongwater. Drink now out of a tumbler.
- Overdone but sugary Cabernet. Strong toasty oak, over-ripe salt and semi-weak herbs. Should have been drunk last week.
- Hopped-up but equally big and plump Syrah. Opens with fruit punch, graceful clay and strong-willed salted beef. Drink holding your nose.
- Chunky and attractive Pinot Gris. Reminiscent of smoked oyster, boggling fungus and perceptible orange jello. Drink with orange juice chaser.
- Ready to drink almost acidic Pinot Gris. Resembles citrus, elegant pappaya and perceptible American oak. Drink now through Saturday.
I’m ready for a Miller Chill.