Adult Accomplices for Petty Theft Are Hard to Find.
Violent Acres has the kind of guts I used to have but grew out of. She hasn’t and it makes for some very funny posts. She loves to tweak the noses of anybody with authority.
She made her first visit to a Super Wal-mart, and noticed the bank that was closed for the evening still had a bowl of candy sitting out.
I don’t know what possessed me to do it (other than I’m impulsive and a lunatic), but without even skipping a step, I swiped the entire fishbowl of candy off of the counter.
Lo and behold a poor Wal-mart employee decides to save the bank from itself and take on this self-described lunatic.
I looked at my fishbowl full of candy and shrugged. Then, I peeled the ‘Free’ sign off the side and handed it over.
“Ma’am?” she said, “You’re only supposed to take one piece of candy, not the whole bowl.”
“It doesn’t say that on the receipt,” I replied.
“This is not a receipt. This is a sign.”
It only gets better, check out this post. It IS worth it.
Here’s the punch line – and it is perfect.
I wanna be Violent Acres accomplice the next time she visits a bank.
Oh absofucking brilliant! No kidding, I will never go into another WalMart without looking for the old lady with an overbite. And to have changed the world in any way, even the white trash underworld, is certainly impressive. All that done without breaking any beer bottles!
@toniimarie: I wish I could have heard the conversation between the greeter and the banker. So what message does this send to the bank customers? Not what the bank intended that’s for sure.