It is about time that the PGA addressed the illegal use of drugs among professional golfers. Have you noticed how big these guys have gotten? It’s obvious that they are taking Human Growth Hormones. (HGH)
The PGA Tour plans to start its drug-testing program next year after six months of an intensive education program, with penalties for a positive test ranging from a one-year suspension for the first offense to a lifetime ban if a player is caught three times.
They can’t be pounding the ball 385 yards off the tee with only technology. (Well actually they can.) They can’t be hitting it higher and working the ball better only because of technology. (Well actually they can.) It can’t be because they are eating better, working out, and practicing more. (Well actually it can.)
Its gotta be illegal drugs. Have you seen the size of some of these players?
OK, there’s Tiger, and then there is everyone else:
- Mickelson – 6’3″ 200 lbs (on a good day Mr. Man Boobs) #2 on money list
- Vajayjay Singh – 6’2″ 200 #3
- Strickler – 6′ even 190 #4
- K.J. Choi – 5’8″ 185 #5
- Sabbatini – 5’10” 165 #6
- Furyk – 6’2″ 185 #7
You get the idea. The top players either are in good shape, smaller than their peers or
larger fatter than their peers.
The only advantage to doping in golf is for the caddies. Those poor schlubs lugging around 900 pounds of crap should be allowed to dope up.
But as always, it’s the big money sponsorships that are talking. Golf may be the only clean sport left – and only because there is no advantage to the players. They should dope the crowd – now that would be fun!