Toys for Tots Needs Fixing NOW
Every other not-for-profit has to tug at your heartstrings to motivate to you to open your moth infested money purse and release a few coins for their cause.
Not the Marines. The few. The proud. The Marines. So why is namby-pamby Dr. Phil their spokesmouth?
In fact I nominate Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket to head up this new version of Toys for Tots.
In our town, they put a nervous fireman on camera to ramble about Toys for Tots. I’m not even sure if they have a Marine in the spot that’s how much of an impact it has on me.
But picture this:
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Have you donated to Toys for Tots this year?
Me: No I haven’t y….
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Get the fuck out of my food court. Now. Move it. I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world. I will motivate you, if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.
Me: *Laughing * Uh ..ok… whatever..
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You little scumbag! I got your name, I got your ass! You will not laugh, you will not cry, you will learn by the numbers, I will teach you! Now get up off your face! You better unfuck yourself before I unscrew your head and shit down your neck!
Hell yeah, I’m motivated!