Retaliatory Strike Against Ireland Soon.
In what foreign policy wonks are calling the most usual unproked attack on U.S. soil since Daniel O’Donnell, an ICBM struck Meigs Field airport earlier today.
The work has been claimed by Head Rambles:
So this is the address (Sixty Note: Meigs Fields) I have programmed into the ICBM [with 2 Megaton warhead, DVD rewriter, 180Gb HDD with Windows Vista] that I bought on eBay last week. I shall be launching it shortly.
I know the place well. I have crashed into it many times. I shall miss it, and I shall miss Meigs Field.
Fortunately Meigs Field was evacuated of all important life forms by Mayor Richard Daley in 1994 in anticipation of such an attack. Only spammers inhabit the area now. In ten thousand years, after the spammers have mutated into a more controllable and harmless life form, like the Snakehead, the area will be developed into a complex of luxury condos and liquor stores.
However, in order to maintain the correct world order, the National Uniform Tallywackers (NUTs) have launched a BHLB (Big Honkin’ Load of Bomb) to perform mulesing on Ireland.
The US Navy has warned planes and ships away from a large area of the Pacific ahead of an attempt to shoot down a rogue spy satellite carrying toxic fuel tonight, CNN reports. The space shuttle Atlantis is due back on Earth today and military officials are waiting for its safe return before trying to blast the malfunctioning spy satellite into harmless debris.
Atlantis has landed. Change Pacific to North Atlantic. Change spy satellite to 105 year old blogger. Don’t change toxic fuel, that’s still true.
5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1
Ireland. Can Canada be far behind? Remember the movie “Canadian Bacon” and the song “Blame Canada” from the South Park movie?
Me, I love the Irish because they’re happy drunks. It’s the Welsh you have to watch, as they get morose when drinking, which is usually.
(If you happen to be Welsh: I don’t mean “they” as in you personally. I mean Van Morrison.)
@Gretchen: Yes, I remember Canadian Bacon… and I saw Blame Canada on Youtube. I’ve never met a real Irisher. I’m ‘merican. Dutch ancestors.
Nancy is sure she is descended from Pochontas because her Mother’s side were Smiths.
Me: 50% Polish, 25% German (which means I’m always fighting with myself), 25% Lithuanian.
Ben: 50% Hungarian; remainder, who knows? His father was an orphan of unknown ancestry adopted by the Crumpackers of Blacksburg, Virginia. The story is that a married doctor knocked up his nurse and the resulting mistake was placed for adoption. Nothing else is known about them except that they were apparently Caucasian.
Is Nancy, um, swarthy? Ben, who grew up in the South with dark olive skin and a father who was a pilot in the Air Force and often away for long periods, used to raise eyebrows because because locals suspected him to be “high yaller”.
@Gretchen, I will refer a response to your question to Nancy.
I’ve never thought of it in that way, but I am dark complexioned. LOL
And yes, I’m related to Pochohontas, thus having many “wild hairs” in relation to tantrums! I go on the warpath a lot, just ask Sixty! I look extremely well in feathers of all kinds. When we went to Jamaica, I returned darker than the African American I worked with at that time – and she was not light!
Hey there Nancy — good to “see” you. If you look good in feathers, you should get one of those Bjork swan outfits.
I have been known to wear dangly feather earrings, but that’s the hippie in me. Actually my eyes are sort of almondy, the result of the Tatars raping and pillaging their way through Poland way back when.
If Sixty’s anything like my Ben, he deserves both tar AND feathers.
@Gretchen: You want to lose your commenting rights? Advocating violence against the owner of this blog! (but I do think Ben and I could get in lots of trouble if left to our own devices.)