I wonder how I would do as a drug mule?
My retirement funding took a hit this year and I need some extra cash. I wonder if I could get just a one-way deal? I think I’d do better at that then hitting a convenience store.
Here are my qualifications as drug mule:
- Up-to-date passport.
- My name doesn’t end with a vowel or “ez”
- station wagon or convertible – wagon has more space of course, but the convertible has the well where the top goes down.
- I’m an overweight white anglo-saxon male that sweats alot normally.
- I could probably claim Parkinson’s if I started shaking.
- I don’t use illegal drugs – as opposed to convenience store where I would want to eat the donuts and Slim-jims. Busted because I would have Slim-jim breath. My luck I’d win big on the lottery ticket and have to fence it to somebody for 10¢ on the dollar.
- I don’t know Cocaine from Goody’s Headache Powder. So I’m no threat to the cartel.
- Drug cartels scare the Billy Bejeezus out of me. If they said “never mind” that would be OK.
- I’ve smuggled before. Coors Beer from Kansas City, KS to Boonville, MO in the ’70’s.
- It’s not like I really really need the money. I could walk away if the dog is sniffing my car while I’m in the duty free shop taking a leak.
- Nancy really likes to shop in Tijuana or Nogales so she would go along.
I originally was thinking I would be muleing coke, but maybe it makes more sense to go to Canada and bring back prescription drugs.
We really liked crossing into Canada on I-95 into Sherbrooke, QC. Sure was a lot less security there. Coming out of QC, we just had to wait for a couple cars in front of us and show our passports. Not like Mexico where there were hundreds trying to cross.
Yeah, OK, I hate waiting in lines. I’m muleing prescription drugs from QC to KY. What do you need?