It’s Official; I Have Crossed a Line. I’m Now a Cigar Smoker.
It took me a while, but you can’t say I didn’t anticipate it. There have been the early signs:
I bought my first box of cigars. This single act, according to my daughter and SIL pushed me over the line.
I smoked the first one this evening.
I got a free sample cigar last summer so I gave it a go. Free, I could always chuck it, no harm no foul.
It was nice. So Mushy gave me his cigar connection and I used it. Or it may have been one of his buds, I can’t remember which.
There is a ritual with cigars.
A ritual far superior to cigarettes (which I smoked in college.) With cigarettes, one pounds the cigs to firmly packy the tabacky. Since I smoked Winstons in a box, I learned to bounce the package so that just a couple cancer sticks popped up. Lifting the box to my mouth, I would grab one with my lips, flip closed the top and replace it in my shirt pocket.
That is a one hand operation, BTW.
Then the lighting ritual. Zippo in hand, quickly downward against leg, to flip open top, upward to move striker to make flame. Light up then slapping the top shut to bring maximum attention to one’s self.
No friggin’ flickin’ Bics back then. If you smoked you had a Zippo. I was a preppy in college. Mine had initials engraved in the case.
Cigar ritual:
First, there is the humidor. I had my first cigar right from the box, because the eBay auction isn’t over with yet. I don’t own a humidor, but will in 1 day, 8 hours, 38 minutes. It is a “rich rose wood exterior with cedar wood interior… the humidor is meticulously made and has gold plated hidden quadrant hinges, felt bottom and holds twenty cigars.” It also has a hygrometer so I can keep the humidity at the proper level.
So I will go to my Rich Rose Wood Humidor and choose a LaDiferencia Cubana from the Dominican Republic. It will not have cellophane around it because I will have removed it so that it will age properly in the cedar wood interior.
Second, I will then carry it outdoors to light it. Since I’m a man, I will bite the end of the cigar just where the curve starts to meet the shoulder. Ptooey, I spit the little chunk of tobacco at the nearest dog.
I remove the paper band. I REMOVE THE PAPER BAND, so just shut up.
Third, to light the cigar, one must hold it above the flame (my barbeque lighter works great) and rotate the end of the cigar to get the embers glowing.
Fourth, keeping the cigar away from the flame, one draws the flame to the cigar, all the time rotating it to get an even burn.
Stogey delight.
It’s 72 degrees, sunny, Nancy has freshly mowed the grass, a couple dogs at my side, just enough birds chirping to mask my tinnitus and I gots me a see-gar making just a fine ash of myself.
No wonder Fidel lived such a long happy life. Wonder where I can get some brown fatigues? I surf the web, watch the tree rats, watch airplanes, admire the lovely ash on my fine cigar.
Then, to keep piece in the family, I have to come in thru the back door, remove all my clothes and put them in the washer, take a shower, and brush my teeth a full two minutes.
You readers take note: Yes, Nancy mowed the yard and it’s not a riding mower! Also, he should removed his clothes, leave them laying outside because in no friggin’ way, are they going in my washing machine to have that stinky, gross smelling smell in it!!! There are plenty of laundromats in town HE can use! How stupid at 60 years of age to do something like that – I’d rather he bought a damn motorcycle!
Nancy’s last blog post..New Dashboard Design and March Wrap-up
Okay, I was about to say why is Nancy mowing the yard????
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@The Absurdist: long story. Don’t think I want to go there at this time.
I wouldn’t either with Nancy stalking your blog. 😉
Absurdist’s last blog post..Girly-Girl Series: Eyelashes
I am not stalking his blog! PFFFBBBTTTTT
Nancy’s last blog post..New Dashboard Design and March Wrap-up
Welcome to the Dark Side, Sixty. There’s something about dragging the tv out to the deck and tuning in to the Red’s game during those spring/summer nights.
Get your favorite libation nearby. Then light up that hog leg, relax and enjoy! I don’t recommend more than one though(cigar or baseball game-doesn’t apply to beverages).
Your mouth will taste like hell’s kitchen the next day if you have multiple smokes.
I also like baseball games because those S.O.B.’s can take forever to smoke. You don’t want to put one out and come back later to that burnt offering. Block out a good hour to truly enjoy it.
Of course my favorite thing to do with a Cigar-Calm down you Clinton lovers-is to traipse around the backyard like Groucho Marx. Although my neighbor always tends to slap my face when I yell over the fence for her to “Say the secret word and win $100”
@Mark: excellent guidance! Esp. the favorite libation – or three. LOL – ya, you would yell that over the fence wouldn’t you!