Spreading Something All Over Blogonia
I didn’t realize it when I woke up today, but I am feeling especially smartassery. It’s Nancy’s fault. I get up first, have a routine which includes taking Oliver (the shit zoo) to walk in the street off leash. (Which is against the law!) Somehow, I trained Oliver to move his carcass by announcing “Oliver! Mailbox!” (our mailbox is at the end of the driveway.)
I issue this invitation wherever I am in the house. This morning it was overly loud because I had no clue where Oliver was. He came bouncing to me and we went on our mission.
(Skip this part if you don’t like tedious descriptions.)
Oliver’s morning routine. Sniff tire. Sniff another tire. Hike. Trot to our mailbox, sniff, hike. Mosey to neighbor’s mailbox, sniff, hike. I have the newspaper out of the bag by now and am reading. Mosey to bushes, sniff, hike. Canter to corner stop sign. REALLY sniff, hike. I have now read all the section fronts and am ready to go back to the house. “Oliver. Go In. In. In. Go In. Oliver! Go! In!) Oliver trots to grassy area and circles, circles, circles, trots to different place, circles, circles, stops and gives me crap. And we go in.
(Start reading again.)
Meeting me at the front door, Nancy holding Sofi. We go in, she says “some people have an alarm clock, I wake up to OLIVER! MAILBOX!”
As I’m reading the RSS, I decided to comment about the Mensa test at Incurable Insomniac. I left four or five smart-ass comments, even sent her an email, and moved on. Next, I made like a pigeon and crapped on this nice photo blog.
So that’s a half-dozen silly comments in 30 minutes. I’m just getting started. Nice thing about Blogonia? Nobody else would have known I was doing this, until I decided to brag about it.
Hahahahahahaha – I should do this when I’m feeling the smartassness taking over.
I would right now, but I’m so low on caffeine the top of my brain is numb.
@Rachel: brain numb? TMI from my blog fixer upper.
You got me laughing out loud twice.
Once with your comment and the second time with your entry.
My smartassness is pooped out for today.
I have laughed so hard and been a smartass all day 😉
My dog (the male) does the same thing. It sometimes takes him 5 minutes (when I’m patient enough) to find the right spot to poop. Going in circles from left to right, back and forth – on the leash (because there are too many cats and nutty drivers that would love to kill a loose dog…
(I talk too much…)
@Nicole: If I made you chuckle, my work is complete. Now that you mention it, is it only males that do the circling bit? We have two females and they have never circled! Amazing. Bitches don’t circle! Awesome.
Nope, our bitch even pees now when I tell her to 😉
No circling here, only sometimes a bit of annoying back and forth sniffing 😛
What is your command to pee? Our oldest dog will respond to “hurry up” and poop almost on command.
I just played it simple “Go Pipi” Or the other one 😉
I never in my wildest dreams thought that a Dachshund would follow any commands – so I actually only goofed around – but it worked 😀
Not for the big one though.
He does other things, that’s alright.
Like scaring the Arabs off.
Oups, did I say that?
I needed smartassy this morning. Thanks for plaguing me.
Incurable Insomniac’s last blog post..I Can’t Make Peace with St. Patrick