Serious as a Chemical Attack: You Can Have a Master’s Degree in Homeland Security.
Oddly enough I chuckled when I read the headline: University to Offer Master’s Degree in Homeland Security.
But it was one of those OMG, I-can’t-believe-I’m-reading-this kind of chuckles. The Homeland Security Office is a hodge-podge of bureaucratical departments, offices, and agencies trying to get out of each others way under the guise of keeping us safe.
No management expert would consider the “United States Department of Homeland Security” (it’s official name) to be anything but a miserable failure.
Anyone know what the Terrorist Threat Level color is today?
This chart is a Homeland Security (HLS) deal, remember?
In five years, HLS has had three bosses. Well two, one said yes, then no (something about a urine test.)
The first HLS boss (Tom Ridge) said in case of chemical attack the best defense is duct tape and plastic. After making this decision, then quitting, Ridge was rewarded with a job on the board of directors of Home Depot and gets $100,000 a year from them.
Ridge is quite familiar with home-improvement projects. He was instrumental in a short-lived run on duct tape in early 2003, when he encouraged Americans to turn to the sticky substance and plastic sheeting as protection against terrorists using chemical and/or biological agents.
Wow, what a ringing endorsement to run a big box company. I push M&M’s, can I be on the board of Mars Candy?
Remember: “Brownie, you’re doing a helluva job”?
What do you suppose one would study to earn a Master’s Degree in Homeland Security?
The program is concentrated in applications of physics, biology and chemistry to detect, quantify, prevent, and decontaminate chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear, and explosive (CBRNE) threats.
200,000 employees under the umbrella of HLS and they are teaching people how to deal with chemical attacks?
How many chemical attacks have there been in the U.S.?
Their are 87,000 different doojiggies jurisdictions that are under the control of HLS. Seems to me like HLS needs better leadership and management, not more technicians.
How will these advanced students learn to buy iPods as data storage devices, beer brewing kits, dog booties, and formaldehyde laden travel trailers?
The Office of Personnel Management did a study of the 36 governmental agencies and found where HLS ranked:
- 33rd on the talent management index
- 35th on the leadership and knowledge management index
- 36th on the job satisfaction index
- 36th on the results-oriented performance culture index
It’s sad this bureaucratic nightmare is so legitimized.
Obama is on the Senate oversight committee for HLS and McCain lobbied hard to get HLS established. I guess the university feels pretty secure in offering this degree. Sounds like HLS is here to stay.
Having a Master’s in Art History used to be the laughable education. I think that has just been surpassed.
OMG, that had totally slipped my mind! I remember for a few years when the CNN and Fox News crawls displayed the terrorist threat level along with the news briefs. I didn’t really notice when they stopped. Whee! for useless governmental bodies.
Gretchen’s last blog post..Subway: Bite ME.
UPDATE:
May 23, 2008 — The United States government’s national threat level is Elevated, or Yellow.
The U.S. threat level is High, or Orange, for all domestic and international flights. Only small amounts of liquids, aerosols and gels are allowed in carry-on baggage.
GoingLikeSixty’s last blog post..Serious as a Chemical Attack: You Can Have a Master’s Degree in Homeland Security.
I believe that’s been the case since Homeland Security was established, except perhaps after the London public transportation attacks (I seem to remember the anthrax scares preceded the establishment of the terrorist threat alert system).
The airline thing is a pain in the ass. When I flew to Raleigh with Boolie in 2006, they searched through her diaper before allowing us on board. I have heard of moms being forced to drink their own pumped breast milk before being allowed to carry it on planes, just to prove it wasn’t toxic.
Gretchen’s last blog post..Tornado Envy.
@Gretchen: Despite the “official” changes, it still is no better to fly. Always at the whim of the agent. We fly a couple times a year and it seems that everytime we go thru a line, there is some dumbass search of somebody.
Now they are arguing if pilots should be able to line jump!
Live In Fear!