Oddly enough I chuckled when I read the headline: University to Offer Master’s Degree in Homeland Security.
But it was one of those OMG, I-can’t-believe-I’m-reading-this kind of chuckles. The Homeland Security Office is a hodge-podge of bureaucratical departments, offices, and agencies trying to get out of each others way under the guise of keeping us safe.
No management expert would consider the “United States Department of Homeland Security” (it’s official name) to be anything but a miserable failure.
This chart is a Homeland Security (HLS) deal, remember?
In five years, HLS has had three bosses. Well two, one said yes, then no (something about a urine test.)
The first HLS boss (Tom Ridge) said in case of chemical attack the best defense is duct tape and plastic. After making this decision, then quitting, Ridge was rewarded with a job on the board of directors of Home Depot and gets $100,000 a year from them.
Ridge is quite familiar with home-improvement projects. He was instrumental in a short-lived run on duct tape in early 2003, when he encouraged Americans to turn to the sticky substance and plastic sheeting as protection against terrorists using chemical and/or biological agents.
Wow, what a ringing endorsement to run a big box company. I push M&M’s, can I be on the board of Mars Candy?
Remember: “Brownie, you’re doing a helluva job”?
What do you suppose one would study to earn a Master’s Degree in Homeland Security?
The program is concentrated in applications of physics, biology and chemistry to detect, quantify, prevent, and decontaminate chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear, and explosive (CBRNE) threats.
200,000 employees under the umbrella of HLS and they are teaching people how to deal with chemical attacks?
How many chemical attacks have there been in the U.S.?
Their are 87,000 different doojiggies jurisdictions that are under the control of HLS. Seems to me like HLS needs better leadership and management, not more technicians.
How will these advanced students learn to buy iPods as data storage devices, beer brewing kits, dog booties, and formaldehyde laden travel trailers?
The Office of Personnel Management did a study of the 36 governmental agencies and found where HLS ranked:
- 33rd on the talent management index
- 35th on the leadership and knowledge management index
- 36th on the job satisfaction index
- 36th on the results-oriented performance culture index
It’s sad this bureaucratic nightmare is so legitimized.
Obama is on the Senate oversight committee for HLS and McCain lobbied hard to get HLS established. I guess the university feels pretty secure in offering this degree. Sounds like HLS is here to stay.
Having a Master’s in Art History used to be the laughable education. I think that has just been surpassed.