I chew gum. I read on the internet that chewing gum keeps the spit flowing and helps reduce tooth decay. It also makes you smarter. So I chew.
Growing up I chewed Double Bubble, then as I became more eriudite I changed to Juicy Fruit, then it was tooth decay. Pre-Vietnam War sugarless chewing gum was crap. I think there was rationing of NutraSweet to help the boys at the front. I didn’t take up chewing gum again until a couple years ago. Sugarless Extra Peppermint is my weapon of choice.
I do not “chonk” my gum, nor blow bubbles, nor pop or crack my gum.
When I am done with my gum, I spit it in the wastebasket or trash can. I do not spit where people walk.
Anyone who would consider banning gum needs to stop blogging so much and take a breath.
Unless they walk in the street. I sometimes spit my gum out the car window. I spit my gum with great exhuberance. Usually with a “Pit-tooey” exclamation.
I spit my gum out the sunroof.
Sometimes I miss.
I like gum.
I like to spit.
Spit. Spit. Spit.