Miss USA, Crystle Stewart, Demonstrates Important Laws of Physics to Delight of Plus Sizers Everywhere
Miss USA chose a large audience to demonstrate her love of science – especially physics. Following up on last year’s contestant in the Miss Universe pageant, Rachael Smith, Stewart decided that education our children is more important that winning some stupid pageant.
So she fell down. On stage. In a dress. During the pageant.
After all, Miss South Carolina Teen has all the map needs for the world kids covered. There is a need for more physics education.
So in just a few seconds she demonstrated:
- it takes less energy to knock over a straw than a donut.
- a body in motion will stay in motion unless you are wearing ten inch heels on ice, then Gravity Rules!
- the time to hit the floor is inversely proportional to the time for a big goofy grin to appear when dragging what is left of your (m)ass up to it’s original height of five feet.
- Getting kidnapped pays higher dividends than “ass”trophysics.
However, it appears that the new Miss Universe, Danaya Bana Bo-bana, from “oil-rich-Venezuela” told host Jerry Springer that she had a new physics theory that she was studying.
The Size of the Eyes is Directly Proportional to the Size of the Surprise: Do Winners Really Practice Their OH Faces Prior to Pageants?
Nobody could practice those goofy looks.
YAY for our girls. They know how to fall on their butts with style!
Hadn’t been here for a while. Loving your blog (again!)
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@TrailerParkBarbie: What? No RSS? OK. Wish you were a regular tho.
I thought Miss “YOUSA” displayed agility and cat-like quickness.
I wish my wife would look so graceful when she falls.
Well she falls when she drinks but she doesn’t drink…that much…anymore. Wait a minute, her Life Alert just went off. Let me check the message. “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up so come and help me you F*%^ing A*&hole”.
Damn, I must have missed the Peach Schnapps hidden in the toilet tank on my last sweep of the house.
@Mark: LOL – sounds about right, maybe the characters would be reversed!