Whomever said “never trust a young chick showing lots of cleavage at a blackjack table” was wrong. Nancy showed her trust and even invited me to sit at the same blackjack table and enjoy the view game with this young chick dealer.

The Twits and Twats golf tournament opening event Friday night was a putting contest followed by a Casino Night. Nancy first invited the folks from NashVegas to come to Le Club Du Golf when she ran the Cocks and Knockers tournament last year. (The tournament is really called the Braves and Squaws, which I find more offensive than Chicks and Dicks or the other names mentioned.)

It was such a big hit, they were invited back.

These folks didn’t show up with plastic game tables and plastic chips. They were the real thang. The guy who runs the company makes the tables for real casinos and his side business is running casino nights for corporate events and such. Real tables, real roulette, real craps, real chips!

The people he hires to run the tables are NOT the real thang. They cheat.

Thus our ability to spend our $160,000 winnings on a couple of bird houses and some suet.

I like to play Hold’em online, but never played at a real table with a real dealer and real chips until last year. I had a ball, busted out and loved it.

I did the same thing this year.

Nancy likes to play Blackjack. She sent word that if I needed chips, to just let her know. I blew off the messenger, but two hands, later after a massive all-in bet holding a full house, lost everything. My eights in the hole got beat by Queens in the hole. I am such a gambler!

I moseyed over to her table to announce I was ready to go home, and ended up watching her table. I was still to prideful to accept her generous offer.

After ten minutes, I took a thousand from her stack and sat down and bet it on one hand.

I had 20, dealer had to stand on 17. Winnah.

Let it ride, I got 18 with three cards, dealer busted. Winnah.

Let it ride, I got 17, dealer showing 10. Dealer looks at me, I indicate I was good, (I didn’ t want another card) she looks at next card and gives it to me, making 20. She shows 20 and pays me.

Huh?

Let it ride. Next hand, it takes me four cards to make 16. Oh-uh, not looking good. Dealer busts. Winnah? Really? Again?

Let it ride.

BTW: everybody else is winning also. But sometimes the dealer would look at a “hit” card and put it back in the shoe. Sometimes she would do this twice before giving them their “hit” card to go with their hole cards.

We had a Cheating Dealer! It was wonderful!

Nancy once commented “that’s not the card I wanted,” and dealer replied, “that’s OK, you’re beat anyway.” Nancy wasn’t betting her entire stack on every hand like I was, so the dealer let her lose occasionally.

Near the end of the evening, it was getting harder and harder for the dealer to make us winners. She had returned so many cards to the shoe, and had not shuffled, so the cards were starting to repeat – either very low cards or very high cards.

So we playahs just began trading the cards we needed.

And when the dealer left to cash someone out? Nancy just helped herself to the dealer’s bank and gave us all a bunch of chips.

The items available for “auction” were quite nice. Titan’s tickets, liquor, wine, crystal decanter, luxury bath items, luxury food items, but we had our eyes on the bird houses, suet, and other assorted goodies from Bird, Bath, and Beyond.

We found out Saturday night our bid of $160,000 was the one and only bid for the birds.

Winnah!

I’ll post a picture later of the $160,000 bird house.

Winners never cheat, cheaters never win? One Blackjack table at Le Club Du Golf Casino Night didn’t quit live up to that bromide.

And we loved it!

However the golf gods were watching today, and punished us rather severely.