Shirley! You know tomorrow (Friday) is Talk Like a Pirate Day. You no doubt will drive your family and co-workers looney talking like a pirate.

It’s time to get you up to speed on How to Text Like A Pirate.

So get out your AyePhone and start practicing.

Pirate Phrase – How to Text Like a Pirate

• AR – R
• ARRRRRRRRR – RRRRRRRRR
• Mate – m8
• Matie – m8t
• Aye – i
• Aye-Aye – ii
• Jolly Roger – JLE RGR
• Cry More, Cabin Boy – CMCB (Cabin boys were young lads of high status that hung about the Cap’ns Quarters for essential “needs.”)
• Rolling on the Floor Laffing My Peg Leg Off – ROTFLMPLO
• Kittens or the Treasure? – KOTT (Pirates love kittens, anyone who as seen Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean knows this. This is a difficult choice for a Pirate.)
• Ar Me Hearties – RME<3TT
• What would Long John Silver do? – WWLJSD do?
• Yo Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Rum – YHHBTR
• Great ass – GR8 BOO T
• She has cannon balls in her shirt -SH00IHS
• Talk about a Treasure Chest – TATC
• My cannon just exploded – MYCNNXPLOD
• Want to touch my mast? -WTTMM
• Meet you on the poop deck – 2ASS
• Two Grogs to Bilge too! – 2G2B2 (grog is an strong drink, bilgewater is skanky water in the hold of the sailing vessel. Two drinking vessels are needed to get in the frame of mind to start the bilge pump. So this would be an order for CMCB)
• Life of Landlubber – LOL (what the soulful non-pirates lead)
• Blimey! Belay! For’ard – BFF (if something was amiss at the front of the ship)
• Prow or Scuttle – POS (prow is the front of the ship where the Captain would go to scout the enemy, if defeat was imminent the ship would be scuttled/sunk.)

Other suggestions welcome in the comments!