Now this just quacks me up. The Peabody Hotel in Memphis is offering amnesty to anybody who stole something from them.

I got some duck shit, but they don’t want that back.

Browne said the hotel loses a lot of items to guests, including many who regard taking an ashtray or towel as souvenir-collecting, not theft. He said that the Peabody learned the hard way not to put out bar menus before its famous 11 a.m. Duck Walk, when live ducks march through the lobby to spend six hours swimming in the fountain.

But it does remind me of a joke I thought was just hee-larry-us when I was a kid.

• Nervous MC introduces Mr. Peabody at a recital by saying “Mr. Playbody will now pee for you.”

Hee-larry-us.

• Man goes into Cox’s Department Store to buy a seer-sucker suit. Tells his buddies he went to Sears and got a cock-sucker suit.
• How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
  He forgot to wrap his whopper.
• Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
  To keep its nuts dry

Jeez, jokes were a lot funnier back then.