Steve Jobs lives. Johntw wrote to CNN a while back and said Steve Jobs had been rushed to the hospital because of a heart attack. As a result, Apple stock had a myocardial infarction and the stock price took a nose dive. It recovered when it was revealed that the story was bogus.

What happens when you write a fake story that Steve Jobs had been rushed to hospital suffering a heart attack and post it on CNN’s ireport.com website? You will cause Apple’s stock to plummet and lose nearly $4.8 billion in market value before the story is debunked by Apple.

So Johntw is in deep do-do.

The SEC is investigating. Looks like Johntw didn’t profit from the news. But so what if he did? How is saying somebody had a heart attack illegal? If traders are looney enough to apply electro-shock based on some unconfirmed email sent to a news site that is unfiltered and unedited, and it get’s published, how is that a problem?

Traders are all over the place touting “buy this” and “sell that” based on the temperature of Trig Palin’s butt.

But because the economy is in the tank, the SEC is freaking out about everything.

The SEC is searching for traders who try to depress stocks by spreading false rumors amid a credit-crisis that has fueled the widest swings on a percentage basis in the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index since 1932.

I guess I need to tone down attacks on Bill Gates. He’s under stress with his new company and he might actually flip out and send the SEC goons after me.

Bill Gates is the result of poking yourself in the finger with a needle.